*Sigh*... I'm not exactly Jay-Z's biggest fan. No, scratch that, I just straight up fucking HATE Jay-Z sometimes. He claimed to be the Michael Jordan (congrats to his recent Hall of Fame induction) of recording, but we have to remember that Jordan was significantly less spectacular in his return and actually disgraced his own name from time to time. That being said, is the title of being the Michael Jordan of Rap as good as it seems? I said I don't like Jay-Z too much, but I have respect for him that doesn't properly reflect that lack of liking him. I don't maintain a "greatest rapper of all time" mentality but I do consider Jay-Z to be one of the greatest, top 5 maybe, top 10 without a doubt. That's crazy because I consider half his catalog to be bullshit. All three Volumes pissed me off because of the mainstream shift he adopted and the second Blueprint album (this is a review for the third if you remember) had me debating how many cars the nigga would need to buy me to repent. Kingdom Come had me wishing *WARNING: hyperbole alert!* the shots he took in the 99 Problems video actually did off him *Hyperbole complete* and... well, speaking about The Blueprint 3 now would ruin the rest of this rant.

Notice I only mentioned part of his discography in that. I love Reasonable Doubt, citing it as Jay's opus and the first (and by the rules of logic it should have been the only) Blueprint album is still one of the most listened to albums in my collection. I wish The Black Album was really his last album because it would have ended his record making career on a MASSIVE high note, higher than Scarface could ever make a woman hit, and American Gangster, despite being a carbon copy of his debut opus, is still one of the best albums of any genre for the year 2007. I feel that Jay-Z and his albums are a mixed bag of hit and miss, and I feel that the misses on a macro scale are more misses than hits. Single wise, track wise, yeah, I think Jay-Z has countless masterpieces, but that's all in the past. This is about the future, and the futuristic sound (KiD CuDi) of The Blueprint 3. This album, like the second installment, is a bit of showcase for other artists, similar to Roc La Familia, which wasn't Jay-Z's album but it was marketed as such to make sales. A friend told be about this, I didn't believe him... let's get into it...

The album starts with the intro (duh) called What We Talking About. Good usage of verbs there, Mr. Carter. Anyway he's back to his old antics, talking about how great he is. I don't give a rat's ass if he's our president's best friend; WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, JAY-Z! You don't have to constantly remind us! You are not Mike Jones! This goes right into Thank You, which is filled to the brim with statistical inaccuracies and more bragging about the shit he gets to do with all his money! Then we get into D.O.A. Skip. Run This Town. Fast forward (I didn't like his lyrics, ha!) to Kanye's verse and call it a day. I've always wondered why people put Kanye on their tracks: he murders ever guest verse he's on without so much as a broken sweat. Besides that I wish a more developed voice was utilized rather than Robyn "I let my boyfriend(s) beat on me" Fenty, better known as Rihanna.

Empire State of Mind COULD have been the best track on the album, if Nas was on the track. Obviously (and I'm not just saying this because I don't like Jay-Z) this is a poor attempt as the magic Nas made TWICE with New York State of Mind. Alicia Keys on the track is just... sexy, so I can't complain about that, but Jay-Z sounds like he should be on a GPS system with this piece. Real As It Gets... uh... this is known as an attempt to get the southern audience. Let me say something: a Young Jeezy guest verse NEGATES ANY CHANCE TO HAVE A CLASSIC ALBUM! That's taking nothing away from Jeezy (one of my favorite voices of the south) but he's not ANYWHERE on the same lyrical scale as Jay-Z, even on his best days! Besides! If you want the southern crowd you need to get Lil Wayne on the track; we all see how great those... are... uh... moving on... On to the Next One (appropriate title) is one of the first tracks that made me sick. Yes, sick. Swizz Beatz didn't do it for me, and Jay's flow was kind of weak. Not his best track, not by a long shot. Then we go into Off That which made me actually agree with Bill O'Reilly (gasp away) in his insult towards Jay-Z. My biggest problem is that he's not utilizing Drake (aka Hip Hop's Latest Wonderboy aka The Best She's Ever Known aka Jimmy) for anything more than a hook, which you know is just wrong right now. At least A Star is Born features the new kid J. Cole. Now to Jay's credit I do love this song, I really love it, because J. Cole is nice and Jay-Z kind of takes the passenger seat to the kid. If this was his intent with the entire album I would be a bit kinder to it. When J. Cole comes out I'll be overjoyed.

Venus vs. Mars was about as effective in my eyes as Ja Rule's The Manual, and both are too presumptuous (like a glass of milk and Chuck Norris). Already Home, the track with the stoner KiD CuDi (see? he's back) is another one of my favorites (it's not all hate). It feels the most... it's almost as if this was the track that was done with no kind of thought, just feeling. I love it. That's two. Hate, a track that I hate, was a leftover from 808s and Heartbreak from what I understand, and it sounds like a leftover from Graduation because I can hear a resemblance to the atrocious Mos Def-assisted Drunk and Hot Girls (God damn you, Mos Def; you lucky you repented with The Ecstatic).

I have to give Reminder a special paragraph to itself. How cruel is it, you who is reading this, to pretty much do the musical equivalent to the MTV show Cribs? Remember the episode of The Boondocks where MTV Cribs came to Thugnificent's house? You know how real that was? He pretty much said, no, EXPLICITLY said that he was showing the world how great it was to be him and how fucked up it was to be anyone else. THAT'S WHAT THIS TRACK IS! It's a reminder that he's great and we're not. Fuck you, Jay-Z! Fuck you, your money, your wife... no, I'm leaving Beyonce out of this one... your cars, your hoes, your affair with Rihanna, fuck all of that!

Ahem... let me chill out a little bit. So Ambitious was... it was so-so, can't hate for real. The final track... the verdict from a lot of people is that its a bad track. Young Forever, despite being a cheap song, is actually one of the songs I'm feeling the most from the LP. Is it great? No. Good? I'll roll with that. Maybe I was just happy the album was over.

Now, anyone that reads this is probably going to say, "DiZ, you fucking idiot, you're a hater!" Yes, I do hate on Jay-Z, but at what point did I actually say I hated Jay-Z on a musical level? I don't. Even his albums that I hate are good in some capacity, though much less that those that I like. I hate In My Lifetime to the point of burning it with gasoline, matches and lemon juice, but dammit he had some powerful tracks on it. I hated Hard Knock Life with a passion, but dammit I love those singles. I hate Volume 3 but shit... actually I just straight hate Volume 3. Fuck that album. I hate the Blueprint 2 because it diminished Mr. Carter's lyrical genius with numerous guest appearances. Kingdom Come was just ass... a couple of good tracks but nothing breathtaking.

You know my biggest problems with Shawn "I should have retired several albums ago" Carter? He's like David Xanatos. You ever watch Gargoyles? Xanatos is the guy that brings the gargoyles back to life in a sense, breaking the curse and all. His biggest fear is death, or growing old, whatever. Jay-Z refuses to grow up. He said that 30 was the new 20. His ass needs to recognize that 30 is now and forever the present 30. Now he's pushing 40 and he's afraid that he'll no longer be relevant. Xanatos killed his own son after gaining immortality... in an alternate world... but that's beside the point. You don't gain immortality by putting out subpar material until you can't even sit up and have to do your music line by line (Curtis Mayfield reference). After countless references to himself being like Frank Sinatra he has to realize a couple of things about Sinatra. For one, Sinatra knew how to share the spotlight, something he didn't do properly with this album. Sinatra, Martin and Davis, Jr. ran the world in their lifetimes. For two, Sinatra knew when to slow it down. Jay-Z hasn't done such a thing. Lastly, Sinatra knew when to just sit down and engage in his other endeavors, which Jay-Z should have done a long time ago. He's rich, has bitches, has a wife, has a mistress, pretty much won financially and professionally against his one time enemy, has money, and even convinced people that 30 is the new 20. No, 30 is not the new 20 and Jay-Z needs to hang the mic up and let the new generation take over. When we have people already saying that Drake is one of the greatest rappers of all time we need NEW guys knocking these stupid fools down, not old legends. KRS does guest appearances. Kane does guest appearances. Jay-Z needs to go to this stage of hip hop, just like LL, just like E-40. Rappers have shelf lives, and Jay is pushing his. He's slowing down. Better to leave on a high note than stay when you could either hit or miss. That's my two cents of the whole Blueprint 3 thing. Call me a hater, I don't care, this is my review, not yours.

The DiZ Score: 3 out of 5

Rant: done.