With my Xbox still out of commission and all my money going into school I have no way to reach a consistent area of console gaming as of right now. I do computer games but they take a little too long to obtain and it requires me to get rid of more valuable stuff on my PC to so that's a rarity as well. That leaves me to no major gaming this semester, my friends, but I still play all kinds of games that have more humble origins. Flash games and freeware are on my radar for the time being, Newgrounds especially. If you've never been there then check it out here. I'm a big fan of the flash movies but some of the games are of incredible quality, one of these being the greatest game you will ever play: You Have to Burn the Rope.
Words can't properly define the greatness of this game. It melds the epitome of complexity with the accessibility of simplicity and a plot that makes the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe go into an alley and cry. The characters make those of George Lucas look like cardboard cutouts and the sheer awesomeness of the gameplay makes Rockstar Games' cash cow as pathetically simple as Aquaman.
Well, that was kind of mean... in all seriousness though the game is pretty amazing. You are a small pink ball with a derby hat and an unlimited supply of axes that navigates his way through a small path to reach a large open area featuring the boss: the grinning colossus. You can throw axes at him but he'll just regenerate his health. You can't die so you don't have to worry about getting hit by the colossus, but you have to kill him. So how do you do it? Well there's a chandelier at the top of the room and some torches on the walls. You have to jump up with a torch and... well, if I have to explain what to do now then you're a damn moron. The chandelier falls and the grinning colossus dies. The screen fades to black and we come to hear the most epic ending theme song ever. Now You're a Hero is pure bliss. And that's the game. Short, sweet and easily won. I keep testing myself to see how fast I can do it but why? It's so easy and fun. The creators knew what to do and, in their own words, "we didn't want to make a longer game. This is it I swear its true... ooh-ooh-ooh..."
I know, this isn't like me. "DiZ, you randy hunk of chocolate pie, this isn't a proper review!" True, true, but You Have to Burn the Rope isn't something you review properly. You observe it and love it. That's my two cents to the game. I give it a perfect score because it's so flawless.
The DiZ Score: 5 out of 5
For your enjoyment I give you the link to the game here:
You Have to Burn the Rope (full game): have fun!
If you're having trouble winning, here's the strategy guide: you're a fool!
And if you just want to listen to the epic theme song then go here: "Now You're a Hero"
Dude this game is good but your right it has the best theme song EVER
Posted on October 19, 2009 at 10:58 AM
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