The DiZ Reviews: Grand Puba's "2000"

Posted by DiZ, the Chocolate G.O.A.T.

Two words that hardly go into the same sentence are "rap" and "longevity".  It's rare that you see too many rappers start their careers in their late teens/early twenties and still have even an inkling of relevance when they push or even surpass forty.  There are, of course, exceptions like Jay-Z (who can't seem to come to terms with the fact that he's nearly forty) and there are some that disappear right off the map after one song (Craig Mack).  On the other hand you have some solo acts and groups that are lauded for their talent in staying in the game, like UGK, who some people will say are the greatest group for the sole purpose of being around since they are in their late teens.  Don't worry, I'm making a point with this one.


Maxwell Dixon, known by his rap name Grand Puba,  is one part of the landmark hip hop collective Brand Nubian, a socially and politically conscious collective of three rappers and two DJs that created one of the more popular alternative rap albums of the 90s with One for All.  Grand Puba was arguably the frontman of the group, and at this point he might be the oldest.  At 43 he's a walking anamoly, a rapper that still has a bit of significance in the world of hip hop and doesn't flaunt it.  His latest album, Retroactive, while not as acclaimed as his debut, is a sign alone that age may not be the leading killer of careers in rap.  But, this isn't about his latest foray into rap so much as the one I started with.  I didn't really get into Grand Puba until I heard the single from 2000 and from there I went on to listen to more of his stuff and stuff from Brand Nubian (also known as the way I got into the Pharcyde after listening to Fatlip) and I can understand why he never again reached the fame of album number one.  This is a review of 2000 so let's jump into it.  

Puba begins the LP with Very Special, a misleading track that isn't all that special at all.  Grand Puba drops some clever wordplay and displays some comedic lyricism (something he has going for him).  Then it goes right into "I Like It (I Wanna Be Where You Are)" (hope you don't mind, but I'm tired of doing italics on a Mac so I'll do parenthesis) which is no doubt the second most apparent highlight of the album, and a worthy, danceable, fun single.  "A Little of This" shares a problem that "Very Special" does and I'll get to that later, and "Keep On" is standard at best.  "Backstabbers" is the album's standout track because of the way its done.  Nowadays it's pretty common to have a rapper/singer collaboration where they effectively have a conversation with each other but back in 1995 this was still a kind of new concept.  Its not the best song in the world, or even on the album, but its done with the same kind of clever comedy that Grand Puba is known for.

The title track suffers from being too short and too lost in the crowd for being the title track.  "Amazing" is okay, though the beat is a little too inappropriate.  "Don't Waste My Time" is possibly the funniest track on the album if only because of the chorus which features the classic line "Look at that sexy mama", but otherwise it had the potential to be a possible head banger.  "Play It Cool" features Brand Nubian partner Sadat X and the two trade verses on the passable track and Grand Puba gets his bragging/pimping on with  "Playin' the Game".  

The last track on the album is a nod to the kind of music that made him and his group famous, "Change Gonna Come" and while it doesn't feature a Sam Cooke sample it does a fine job in getting a point across.  That's Grand Puba's second album, and I'm at something of a crossroads here.  Grand Puba is one of the rappers I give a serious listen to, one of the emcees I really vibe to, but this album isn't great.  It's okay, but that's it right there: it's okay.

A few of the tracks suffer from being too long, WAY too long, like the first and third track, and tracks that should have a bit of length are too short, like the title track.  Grand Puba isn't the most lyrical emcee out of New York but he's certainly more skilled than he's showing.  On many occasions I heard the same words used almost as if they were part of a stock vocabulary as opposed to trying to spit something new.  And another thing (this isn't a complaint but a query) I'm wondering: who is Stunt Doogie and how do you get respect with a name like that?  Continuing on, the beat choice for a number of the latter tracks is kind of lacking and aside from the last track there's no sign of the Grand Puba that made the Nation of Gods and Earth rapper such a conscious source of hip hop.  Again, it's not a great album but its passable.  That's it, passable.

The DiZ Score: 3 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: You Have To Burn The Rope

Posted by DiZ, the Chocolate G.O.A.T.

With my Xbox still out of commission and all my money going into school I have no way to reach a consistent area of  console gaming as of right now.  I do computer games but they take a little too long to obtain and it requires me to get rid of more valuable stuff on my PC to so that's a rarity as well.  That leaves me to no major gaming this semester, my friends, but I still play all kinds of games that have more humble origins.  Flash games and freeware are on my radar for the time being, Newgrounds especially.  If you've never been there then check it out here.   I'm a big fan of the flash movies but some of the games are of incredible quality, one of these being the greatest game you will ever play: You Have to Burn the Rope.


Words can't properly define the greatness of this game.  It melds the epitome of complexity with the accessibility of simplicity and a plot that makes the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe go into an alley and cry.  The characters make those of George Lucas look like cardboard cutouts and the sheer awesomeness of the gameplay makes Rockstar Games' cash cow as pathetically simple as Aquaman.

Well, that was kind of mean... in all seriousness though the game is pretty amazing.  You are a small pink ball with a derby hat and an unlimited supply of axes that navigates his way through a small path to reach a large open area featuring the boss: the grinning colossus.  You can throw axes at him but he'll just regenerate his health.  You can't die so you don't have to worry about getting hit by the colossus, but you have to kill him.  So how do you do it?  Well there's a chandelier at the top of the room and some torches on the walls.  You have to jump up with a torch and... well, if I have to explain what to do now then you're a damn moron.  The chandelier falls and the grinning colossus dies.  The screen fades to black and we come to hear the most epic ending theme song ever.  Now You're a Hero is pure bliss.  And that's the game.  Short, sweet and easily won.  I keep testing myself to see how fast I can do it but why?  It's so easy and fun.  The creators knew what to do and, in their own words, "we didn't want to make a longer game.  This is it I swear its true... ooh-ooh-ooh..."

I know, this isn't like me.  "DiZ, you randy hunk of chocolate pie, this isn't a proper review!"  True, true, but You Have to Burn the Rope isn't something you review properly.  You observe it and love it.  That's my two cents to the game.  I give it a perfect score because it's so flawless.  
The DiZ Score: 5 out of 5

For your enjoyment I give you the link to the game here:

You Have to Burn the Rope (full game): have fun!

If you're having trouble winning, here's the strategy guide: you're a fool!

And if you just want to listen to the epic theme song then go here: "Now You're a Hero"