Electronic Underworld

the diz (DOES NOT) review lupe fiasco’s “lasers” and raekwon’s “shaolin vs. wu-tang”

2011-03-15T15:04:00.001-07:00

Yes, this is what we call a double non-review, and I think it’s a bit appropriate because I listened to both albums back to back on a couple of occasions and noticed some glaring similarities. Don’t fret though, loyal reader, because I don’t plan on just going down the simple route and bashing LASERS and elevating Shaolin like the standard (and sadly ignorant) hip hop purist is quick to doing now. No, that’s not me; that’s not the DiZ way. This is my opinion alone, based only on my opinion, laced with what I think and only what I think. That’s why I’m not reviewing both albums at once. What you may appreciate, however, is how it’ll be divided into segments with funky titles. I’m sure that you will find them titillating and saucy. With that, let’s get the ball bouncing.

“You’re Pitiful”

Let’s call a spade a spade: Atlantic Records doesn’t know what the hell to do with critically acclaimed rap groups. When I heard about the concessions that Lupe Fiasco (@LupeFiasco) would have to give in to just to release LASERS I knew that the culprit (a vast majority of the culprit) would be the dingus conglomerate at Atlantic Records.

I’m being overly mean. The issue with all major label deals is that the pursuit of commercial success is paramount and will always overshadow the critical greatness an album might have, unless you’re a legend that is. Lupe Fiasco is not a legend, and having a Grammy for a single and multiple Grammy nominations for both albums does not, in terms of major label talk, mean that you are an asset so much as a liability. Long and short of it: if Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool went platinum, it would have had no bearing on anything if Lupe Fiasco’s Food and Liquor never got far past gold status. That’s the way things work, but Atlantic has a strange track record especially.

Who hear remembers a nice little collective from North Carolina? They were originally a trio; two rappers and a producer. One of the rappers always offered lyrical no-frills perspectives on life and love while the other was always a straight, hard jab who only showed dramatic improvement with each passing verse. The producer consistently incorporates soul samples and is considered to be a student of the late great J. Dilla and Pete Rock. Oh, and he raps now too *shiver*. Give up? Well you shouldn’t have.

I’m talking about Little Brother (@phontigallo; @RapperBigPooh; @9thWonderMusic) of course, the critically acclaimed, highly underrated and pathetically unsung heroes of underground hip hop from Durham, North Carolina. After releasing The Listening, a flawless album according to many professional critics and fans (and haters) alike, the trio signed a deal with Atlantic Records and released The Minstrel Show, a biting and satirical look at black culture and an exercise in dope beats and dope rhymes; what more do y’all want?

No seriously, Atlantic Records, I’m asking: what more do y’all want? Why can’t you just leave well enough alone for once? James Blunt would still have an actual career if you let Weird Al do his mess. The album [The Minstrel Show] was poorly promoted, only one video was released (two singles though), and Little Brother’s album was so hard to find in stores a lot of people wondered if it was just a clever myth. But no, it wasn’t, and after a long long LONG time I found it. And I love it. Scary thing is that I can still see stickers for it on some poles at my old campus. Creepy.

Critical acclaim does not equal commercial success, this I understand, but at what point do record executives, excuse me, MAJOR LABEL record executives realize that this may be the very reason that a rapper does NOT do well in his or her transition from underground to mainstream? Wish I could answer that, but I’m going to leave Little Brother alone because they’re too easy a target and this is about Lupe Fiasco.

To Lupe Fiasco (@LupeFiasco): what did you really expect? Major labels are after money, and one gold album does not equal money. Classic albums they may be, money wasn’t coming in big time. That means that something about the sound is going to be changed to make the music more commercial and radio friendly. That means people that you may or may not like, specifically others from the label, will be put on tracks with you a la Akon on India.Arie’s I Am Not My Hair. She ain’t want that nigga on that track! And I’m willing to bet money that you didn’t want Trey Songz on yours.

Interestingly enough, Trey Songz could be considered another case like Little Brother or Lupe Fiasco, just instead of arguing about the changes he went along with them. That’s why so many of us call him a sell out. I liked Just Gotta Make It. It set him apart. Now he’s, as Riley Freeman would call him, some “R&B, sexy, flexy ass nigga”. Seriously, how many of us actually listen to him at this point so much as just watch him take his shirt off and agree with stuff?

But I digress. This isn’t about Trey Songz (@TreySongz). This is all just build up for why I feel how I feel about Lasers. I can really sum it up with one sentence, but how much of a review would that be? I’ll say it but I’ll explain later: it’s not a Lupe Fiasco album.

“Somethin’ That Means Somethin’”

Ever since I heard about a Justin Bieber remix featuring… no, that’s not a good way to start this segment. Ah, better. Raekwon is the current key flag bearer for the original Wu-Tang Clan. Much like the Sorcerer Supreme of Marvel Comics fame, the role passes around. At one point it was a role shared by the whole, and then it went primarily to Method Man, and then ODB (RIP), and then Ghostface, and now Raekwon. There’s something about the Wu, isn’t there?

As the current key flag bearer, Raekwon has arguably the most difficult era to carry the flag through. Avatar Method was around when… I mean, Method Man was carrying the torch when the Wu was at the forefront. Ol’ Dirty Bastard (or whatever the fuck he was calling himself at the time) was so wild that his only competition was Busta Rhymes. Not just that, but he solidified his status of king of the hill when he apparently (the video is a bit fuzzy) kissed the lovely Erykah Badu and stormed the Grammy stage to explain how he bought an outfit that “costed a lot of money” and how “Wu Tang is for the children”. I miss you, Big Baby Jesus.

Ghostface Killah was (arguably) the first to make a transition from the Wu sound into the realm of mainstream music, and it shows in recent releases such as Fishscale and Ghostdini but now we come to Raekwon. Hmm, Raekwon the chef, the infamous Mafioso wordslinger primarily responsible (you know a solo Wu album is code for an unofficial group Wu album… and maybe Cappadonna will be on it too) for the practically orgasmic Only Built for Cuban Linx, the current flag bearer? But how?

We start off with the announcement that shocked the hip hop world: Only Build for Cuban Linx 2! And after a long wait, it actually came out! Dr. Dre, are you listening? IT ACTUALLY CAME OUT! And to make things even better: it was GREAT! Search this blog and go back a while, you will find my OB4CL 2 review. Was it as good as the original? No, the gap between the two was so marginal it’s hard to believe the album is ten years after the original.

That was part one: the “rebirth” of Raekwon thrust him back into the forefront. Part two was the Pusha T-like alliance that Raekwon established with hip hop Da Vinci Kanye West. Sidenote: don’t you guys think it’s funny that Kanye West has put Pusha T on so many tracks since he signed him? I love Pusha and Malice, love the Clipse, they’re hometown heroes (VA stand up!) but damn… too much Pusha. Raekwon has not been utilized so greatly, but his appearance on the Good Friday line up (on one of the better songs in my opinion) showed us that he was indeed in the driver seat.

In relation to the Kanye alliance (that could be an interesting piece in the future in and of itself), Raekwon was put on a remix to Justin Bieber’s song Runaway Love. We’re not going to talk about that song, mostly because I don’t remember it all too well. That song, however, is probably instrumental in introducing one of our favorite crime bosses to million of prepubescent white girls around the world that experience minor orgasms every time Ivory Usher (give it time, you’ll see…) does a piss poor late night show interview.

Sidenote #2: why are Canadians taking over the American music scene? Hmm…

And it really is a moot point to even mention Raekwon’s masterful verse on Kanye’s Gorgeous track off of the critically lauded My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Case in point, even more so than Ghostface now, Raekwon is the Wu messenger. I say good work: RZA always needs at least one of the original to keep the name alive. I mean, not like any of the forty thousand Wu affiliates can do it. Yeah, that sounds like me taking a shot, but no, I’m serious when I say Wu Tang has affiliates worldwide. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a Russian crime family that called RZA their leader.

I say all this to explain why Raekwon is so big right now. I didn’t mention the MTV Hottest Rapper thing because there hasn’t been any validation to that nonsense since it first came along. Raekwon was number 10 in 2009 and we all said, “About time!” Then 50 Cent was number 8, not having dropped a single album that year. So like I said, nonsense.

Actually, I found it strange that Shaolin vs. Wu-Tang would be released right now, considering it was originally supposed to be an OFFICIAL Wu album, but when you’re still riding on the coattails of one of the most critically acclaimed sequels in hip hop history why not ride the wave as high as you can? Question is how well can a man ride a tidal wave that eclipses skyscrapers? Answer: surprisingly well.

“Dumb It Down”

I took a long break from Twitter for some personal reasons, but I’m on and off now. Conversing with a friend of mine, a purist and true hip hop head like myself (@MrG3nius), I discovered that according to his Twitter feed links, Lupe Fiasco was not very happy with Lasers. In fact, he hated it. I didn’t go on Twitter to find out, but saw some interviews and articles that described his unhappy demeanor regarding the long delayed LP.

That was just the tip of the iceberg, however. He went through hell and high water just to get the deal settled to even release the damn thing. Personal issues always plague an artist when he or she is releasing an album, sometimes minor and sometimes disastrous. I’m convinced that whatever Kurt Cobain was working on was probably a testament to his suicide, as well as label politics and fear of his music becoming a part of a commercial machine. I don’t know; my knowledge of Nirvana isn’t as high as it should be.

Lupe Fiasco was quick to say that he would never submit to the will of the record companies and mainstream temptations. He said this with Lupe Fiasco’s Food and Liquor. So when his next offering, Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool was said to be more commercial, I was a little disappointed. Then I heard the street single Dumb It Down. And then I heard the album. Not only was it good, but it was great, arguably better than his first. Translation: the words of the street single were perfectly accurate, notably the last lines:

“Bishop G! They told me I should come down cousin!

But I flatly refused. I don’t dumb, down, nuthin’!”

I paid attention to these words because it meant that Lupe Fiasco was telling us, the fans, that he would always come correct and honest with his stuff. Always. No matter the circumstances. No matter what kind of crap the label gave him. No matter… ooh…

“Wu Chant”

Did RZA piss the Wu off? I’d assume so, because while he IS essentially the de facto leader of the Wu, his soldiers and the like are the people that have to spread his message. What’s the point of a charismatic chess playing martial arts leader when the charismatic chess playing martial arts underlings aren’t listening?

I say all this because there’s something strange about anything Wu that doesn’t feature vintage Wu production. We’re not talking about MF DOOM here (though I swear he must be some bastard spawn of the Wu bowel movement). In all honesty, Wu soldiers sound great over Wu beats.

And when they don’t Wu rhyme over Wu production they still make some Wu genius work. Okay, I’m done with the intentional Wu jokes. Wu…

While it was necessary to define it, Only Built for Cuban Linx 2 having production from so many outside sources served as both its greatest asset and liability. On one hand, you had a new sound (I think this was best exemplified with the song New Wu) and on the other, a glaring absence of the old sound (save for the continuation of North Star (Jewels) which, production wise, I think is pure sex). And after 8 Diagrams, well… maybe things wouldn’t be so bad if the original 9 were still 9.

RZA’s style had, has, and will always have a feel to it, a flawless, epic feel that invokes the martial arts films and the actual philosophy of the Wu. C.R.E.A.M. was great for it’s production and the ease of the performers over it. Wu Tang Forever was great for… a lot of reasons, but primarily the two I just mentioned.

Maybe it’s the power of the Wu flag bearer. Raekwon (and Ghostface; it’s a friendly power struggle) flow effortlessly over any beat they’re put on, but they both have standards they set with themselves and their early albums, a glorious lyricism that hasn’t waned over the years. Even if the musical backdrop has. Ah, interesting.

I’m going to get into the actual non-reviews now (yeah, this has all been build up) because there’s a correlation between the two LPs. They both symbolize something, from two different, but lyrically inclined perspectives of unconscious genius. Ladies and gentlemen, LASERS and Shaolin Vs. Wu-Tang.

“And The Winner Is…”

Lupe Fiasco: LASERS – 2.5 out of 5

Raekwon (the Chef): Shaolin vs. Wu-Tang – 3.5 out of 5

This is a non-review, remember?

The DiZ Reviews: Rick Ross' "Teflon Don"

2010-07-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

Rick Ross. *sigh* Ricky, Ricky, Ricky... much like Lil Wayne, what can be said about the wonderful failure that this man has become? I'm not going to compare their paths, but let's look at both of their careers and how we, the adoring public, have been able to literally follow them from disc to disc since they first showed up. I can vividly recall Lil Wayne's first curse-free foray into the realm of hip hop music as much as I can recall Rick Ross' spot on Trina's Diamond Princess album and... I was mildly (emphasis on that word) impressed. Compared to the beat heavy, lyrically substandard work that would follow in his debut album it was something to behold.

It's hard to not like Rick Ross at this point. He successfully made us all fans with the repetitive Hustlin' way back when, proved himself to be a force to be reckoned with with his second album, Trilla, and finally did the impossible and made me a true, TRUE fan with Deeper Than Rap, and the brilliant production was the reasoning. Rick Ross is special in that he knows how to choose perfect beats (I'm looking at YOU, Nas...) to compliment his style, and this is only amplified by the single most irresistible thing about this guy: he's still improving. If someone would have told me years ago that Rick Ross, former correctional officer and Big, Black, and Ugly spokesman, would be a rapper I'd like to listen to when I was 21, my exact words would have been, "Rick Ross? You mean that bitch that did Hustlin'? Nigga please!" Now I'm one of the first to advertise the greatness of Maybach Music 2. Things change, eh?

I wasn't looking forward to Teflon Don when it was first brought up; I'm a Rick Ross fan but not a fanatic. I'm still not doing cartwheels (and neither is he... ever) for this guy because a hip hop album is influenced by two factors: the rapper and the people that provide the backdrop for the rapper, aka the producers. Ross has always known who to get to provide the background music; he's like a filmmaker in this respect, knowing just who to enlist to make his stuff that much better when it isn't. That's been Rick Ross' style since Port of Miami and it hasn't changed here. The album starts off with the mediocre I'm Not A Star. Nothing spectacular about this track but, as stated before, he's improved with every album so far and you can hear how much he's grown lyrically in this opener as opposed to something like Mafia Music or Trilla. We move right into Free Mason and we come to the first roadblock of this album.

Features on a solo album have a habit of hindering the product (unless it's a Wu Tang album). John Legend assisting on the hook is something that most artists consider (and rightly so) a good move, but Jay-Z's inclusion on the track almost ASSURES being outshined. However, considering the subject matter and the timeliness of the song Ross stands surprisingly strong with Hova's dismissal of any Freemasonry or Devil worship (a lot of hypocrisy with those two things together but this is neither the time or place). Keeping in line with the singers on the hooks, Ross skillfully restricted the incomparable Cee-Lo Green to hook duty on Tears of Joy. The song itself is fine, and No I.D.'s production is pretty good, but it's nothing we haven't heard before.

Next we have Maybach Music 3. I LOVE the Maybach Music songs thus far, because the beats are epic. This is no different. However, while the lovely Ms. Erykah Badu is on the hook and T.I. and Jadakiss deliver acceptable verses (though Jada is a liar and he knows it, eh-heeeeehhhh) they severily make Rick Ross seem irrelevant on his own track, even if he does have a select part of the song to himself a la Notorious B.I.G. in All About the Benjamins. There's a problem with the growing ego Ross has with minor comparisons between him and Biggie but that can be addressed later. After the production of Maybach Music however, we're given the Kanye/No I.D. produced Live Fast, Die Young and, no surprise, Kanye (as with everybody) murders Rick Ross on his own track. The song is long for no reason; it serves no purpose as the longest track on the already short album, but to its credit it has Rick Ross' most impressive lyrical attack in the album so far, better than that of the radio-killer Super High, featuring Ne-Yo. It's a good track, sure, but that's like saying Nothin' On You is a good track for B.o.B. In fact that song was okay but far below the skill level of B.o.B. (and Lupe Fiasco for that matter).

No. 1 plays like a spiritual sequel to collaborator Diddy's Hello Good Morning, taking away points for originality. The rest of the points are lost for sounding generic and dull. This is a common problem in many albums but when it's a rapper like Rick Ross, who oozes (quote me) "vastly improved mediocrity" then it's a MAJOR problem. MC Hammer features everyone's favorite career jailbird and walking accident Gucci Mane (no, I DON'T like him lol) and it is the weakest lyrical track on the album. It has Ross reverting to his pathetic skill level from Port of Miami and Gucci Mane's verse is as tolerable as lukewarm champagne or overexcited women, as Orson Welles would say. Considering the same producer (Lex Luger) does Blowin' Money Fast and MC Hammer is should be no surprise that they sound surprisingly similar. No, seriously, if Styles P wasn't on the track then I would have thought it was the same song. Stand alone it serves it's purpose as a single but with the abysmal MC Hammer coming before it on the album AND the extended return of the Port of Miami flow, the album starts to go downhill. WAY downhill.

Aston Martin Music is exceptionally smooth in it's production, another car-themed gem from the shining stars of Rick Ross' albums: the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League. While Chrisette Michelle and hip hop's current golden boy Drake (singing, not rapping) make the track, Rick Ross carries his weight (I... will... not... make a joke... here...) and delivers on what might be the smoothest song on the album, showing his improved skill once again. Granted, some of us are a bit disappointed that Drake isn't rapping on the album, but with his monotone voice and tendency to (a) end his lines with "yeah" and (b) use "I" in everything that could be a good thing. Finally we come to the very end of the album, the horizon-looking All the Money in the World, featuring the legendary (yeah, I said it) Raphael Saadiq. This song is, for lack of a better word, good. As a closing track it does exactly what it should: properly bring the album to a classy conclusion with style, much like The Game's Why You Hate The Game? or Drake's Thank Me Now. And that's the album in so many paragraphs.

So what's wrong with this album? I could say it in short form and just give each issue a little line, but I'm the Infamous DiZ: I give you at least TWO lines for that shit. Problem one lies with the number of collaborators. I'm not referring to the singers or those that do the hooks, but the rappers. Few great solo albums have featured a lot of outside help. Jay-Z, for example, had only Eminem on Blueprint and it's a classic. The goal is to not have the help outshine the main participant, and Rick Ross only "renegades" Gucci Mane; quote me: THAT IS NO ACCOMPLISHMENT! Anyone that tells you it is is lying or trying to sell you something.

Another issue with the album is Rick Ross' own ego. I loosely compared his career to that of Lil Wayne's at the beginning of this because they both have ever growing egos and massive heads that are only expanding. While Lil Wayne is somewhat justified in his big headed state of mind Rick Ross isn't: to this day he hasn't actually released anything that would warrant him having such a cocky nature outside of maintaining street credibility after cop work and us seeing past his shades. He's always improving, that's apparent, but not to this extent. This ties into the hinted at Biggie comparisons. Simply put: no. Hell no. No fucking way in hell. FAIL.

Issue 3: production overtaking Ross. This is the biggest one. I fell in love with the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League after Maybach Music. Outside of the similar works from Lex the production on Teflon Don is simply stellar. Every beat (except for Lex's) is epic like something out of a summer blockbuster or a summer tear-jerking drama. That's how a great beat is supposed to be, but the rapper has to stack up to the backdrop laid out for them. Ross rarely does that; in some cases the track is only good because OF the others on the track. If this album were nothing but instrumentals and the singers on the hooks, minus those from Lex, it would probably be a near-classic, but as it stands Rick Ross' ego and "vastly improved mediocrity" can't carry a full album on his own, not yet. At this rate it's a matter of time, but even I have to admit that it's a considerable amount of time. The album is okay, but nothing breathtaking. Keep at it, Ross.

The DiZ score: 3 out of 5

The Japanese Gaming Industry: Sex Games (EXCERPT)

2010-07-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hello, people. My name is C. Lamb and I've become enough of a person that people can rely on me for a few things. They can rely on me for getting something done right, getting something done on my own time, intriguing conversation, all of that, but what they can really rely on me for, even more than unreliability, is outspoken opinions on music and games. With these two things being my tangible passions, only under writing, I tend to establish shrines to them (i.e. - this blog) to voice my opinions.

It's about noon right now, Sunday afternoon, me dreading tomorrow because of a lack of a path back home, sitting in my office with no pants, listening to John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman's rendition of the eternal classic "Lush Life", still glowing from my waffles this morning and the roast beef sandwich I made last night... and I'm going through the world wide internets and looking at stuff. I'm a fan of Japanese games, sometimes going so far as to tweak and twerk and hack and translate them to English so I can play them. Out of the dozens I've done this for the majority of them haven't been worth the effort I put into them.

This whole series of actions has had about three rationals behind it, however. The first has been research: the EXCERPT in the title is because I've been doing research on the Japanese gaming industry for years, literally, YEARS. Sadly I lost all my data because I was cleaning off the computer and accidentally got rid of all that prior data. So here I am, starting from square one again, though at this point I'm probably at square... seven or eight. The second reason is for culture: games are arguably more influential and important in Japan than the United States, but that's something my research will afford me knowledge to. Lastly we have the fun: yes, the fun. Some games are never released outside of Japan and me, being a child of video games, can't enjoy it. Unfortunately the stereotype is that these games never released outside of the Land of the Rising Sun are all dirty, controversial porno games.

That leads us to the infamous Rapelay. For those of you that don't know about this game, it's a rape simulator. The story is that a young chikan (loosely, train groper) is busted by a girl and sent to jail. Out the next day because of political connects, he decides to get revenge by raping the girl, as well as her younger sister and mother, until they're broken to the point of sexual slavery. That's the point of the game. Truth be told, it's not MUCH of a game, and if you know what you're doing, you'll "finish" in a matter of hours. The creators of this game weren't really going for a revolution in gameplay here; they were trying to give the gamer something to slap-box the one-eyed champ to. To that respect: good job, Illusion. The controversy for the game didn't come right away, however; it came when it was being sold on Amazon.com.

And then Bugs Bunny and Scrappy Doo and all our favorite liberal figureheads and conservative lawyers came out of their foxholes and started to condemn this genre of games, and by genre I mean "eroge", sex simulators and whatnot. The "Fred Phelps" of Game Condemnation, Jack Thompson, was probably the most vocal (no surprise) about this, and in a rare admittance of defeat I can't really knock him. Let's be honest: this is a rape simulator. You can commit virtually every sexual atrocity to three women, one of whom may not even be 16 or 17 yet, and if they get pregnant then you have to abort the kid or else you get one of the "endings". Spoiler alert: you die in both endings. I suppose that that's good from a moral standpoint but for a game... you tend to want to live.

I admit though that this controversy had me playing both sides of the fence at first. On one hand I think every rapist should be locked in jail for (a)life, (b)until he gets the death penalty, or (c)until he can't use his dick anymore (this is of course assuming the rapist is male). On the other hand, the argument I can't support is that this kind of game encourages sexual violence and rape worthy behavior. Yeah, I had to play through it once to get my opinions. Finished it. Tossed it and started writing my opinions on it, and what's my mind state now? My exact words were: "Kinda got a thing for that schoolgirl outfit and MILFs, but rape is still a no-no". Okay, those weren't my EXACT words, but I always liked the schoolgirl outfit and when we got MILFs like Halle Berry and Salma Hayek you damn right I love 'em.

It calls to attention the eternal debate of how powerful the pull of video games is; my last posted piece "Dear Caressa Cameron..." brought that up too. We have to consider personal responsibility especially, and how some people aren't as strong minded as others and how some people take things to levels unnecessary. Whereas someone like me can play a game about a rapist and not want to rape, someone else might not be stable enough to distinguish the virtual crime from an actual one.

I think I mentioned this before but this game has the cold distinction of being the international benchmark for eroge games. In my research I've had to breeze through a number of them, be they 2D or 3D, text based or visual based, and Rapelay is hardly the worst. Hell, some of them are even entertaining, have some wonderful stories behind them, are even (Jesus forgive me) worthy of the five knuckle shuffle.

But that's just one aspect of the world of Japan's sexual games. I find the whole concept incredible; at one point that was the point of the entire research project but I expanded it when I saw how much crossover there was. There's a man that "married" his computer girlfriend in Japan, a game that "tracks" your... lonely nights. Something I saw today actually makes me a bit nervous. According to a study done in Japan, more than half of the women in Japan think virtual girlfriends are superior to them in terms of attracting a guy. Talk about self esteem issues. I thought China had the worst perception of self after that Summer Olympics shit with the little girl that wasn't allowed to sing at the Opening Ceremonies because she didn't fit the "look" they wanted to portray.

You may be asking what this has to do with sex games. Directly we need look no further than another game from Illusion's camp, Real Kanojo, translation: Real Girlfriend. At this point I don't need to say another word. So I won't. I'll let this trailer do the talking. I'm the DiZ: I look at it so YOU don't have to.

Dear Caressa Cameron...

2010-02-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

First of all, allow me to say congratulations. As a fellow Virginian and lover of broadcast journalism, I am proud to proclaim you Miss America. I am pretty sure, no, I am very sure that your reign will be a year of great joy and good tidings. Also, I express my respect of your opinion and strength of will, so please do not be too insulted at this letter if it reaches your eyes because all that is being said is strictly my opinion as well. We both hail from Virginia so I am sure you know what this letter is to hold.

That is unless you come from a community vastly and utterly different from my own. My minor research reveals that you hail from Virginia Commonwealth University and come from Fredericksburg, which I appreciate because we both know that people from Richmond, Virginia are the epitome of grimy. I have no qualms with the college because I have many a friend that attended that college, but all of them decided to pursue higher education in other locations; they claimed the curriculum wasn't engaging enough.

Before I continue this post allow me to properly introduce myself. My name is Christopher Lamb, a 20 year old Virginia-born (at least raised) college student attending Clark Atlanta University. Before you ask me or berate me for not going to Morehouse allow me to say that I did attend Morehouse for two years before transferring; I found the curriculum wasn't engaging enough.

I joke; ultimately my reason for transfer was because of my ultimate goal of being a film maker. That, Ms. Cameron, is why I expressed a love for broadcast journalism, but my heart is in the world of film. And, as we both know, controversy is one of the most important elements to creating good media; this goes for both journalistic integrity and cinematography. As such, here is the main point of this letter: "Fuck you!"

Yes, these words seem unnecessarily harsh but hear me out; I tend to curse rampantly in my letters and you should not feel insulted... yet. Over the course of my life I've seen many things and experienced many events, and I've actually gotten the question, at the tender age of 20 years young, "Mr. Lamb, what do you want to be remembered by? Would it be that you are a great writer?" I say no. "Would it be that you are a consistent and loving philanthropist?" I say no. "Would it be that you are the epitome of a loyal video gamer?" Again, I say no. What I'd really want them to remember is that I'm stern in my stance of defending what I love, and as you see in the above sentences I love writing, philanthropy (which I assume we share), and playing video games. Therein lies my issue.

I don't claim to dislike you because you don't like video games; to each his or her own. However, your argument against video games is puerile at best. If I may quote your words, "Take away the TV, take away the video games, set some standards for our children!" This is much more vast than just games, but I'd like to lightly present both sides of the argument; I am a student of the field of rhetoric (not my major, but I tend to go outside the box) so argument and persuasion (again, we're both Virginians so you should appreciate this) are easy to the man writing this somewhat mean spirited letter.

We'll deal with the bad first. More than often video games are blamed for some of the most violent and infamous crimes in society and the world. Let's look at the issues: Columbine, Virginia Tech, some future war thanks to Modern Warfare 2 perhaps, I can't say. Did these, I wonder, have any basis in video games? Perhaps; I'm not psychologist and usually the shooter takes his own life with the same gun he used to slaughter people. If I had the opportunity to ask the Virginia Tech shooter what inspired his manifesto and massacre then I would, but I cannot.

Violent video games can affect a person's mind, yes, that is something we must all admit, but the effect isn't nearly as widespread as Jack Thompson and Australia make it out to be. Ultimately video games are a form of media, just like broadcast journalism, and they all have pull.

For example, as a broadcast journalist, rather, as a possible future broadcast journalist, I am confidently aware that you vividly remember the Hurricane Katrina tragedy of 2005. I am also very sure that you, a possible future broadcast journalist, remember vividly the images of the victims of this tragedy shown to us, the American public, on television sets around the nation.

However, I am not completely sure that you can recall the word refugee being used to describe these unfortunate victims. As a possible future broadcast journalist surely you can understand how the word refugee used in a manner to describe victims can cause the public to feel removed from helping these victims in their plights.

According to the United Nations a refugee is a person owing to a well founded fear of being persecuted on account of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group, or political opinion, is outside the country of their nationality and is unable to, or owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself or herself of the protection of that country; and that's according to the United Nations.

Now, as you recall the images of the impoverished people standing on the roofs of their houses, waving desperately for help at the various news helicopters that flew by and offered no assistance, I wonder if you asked yourself this question: "Self... is dem niggas refugees?"

My point in bringing all of this up is to merely state that all types of media are capable of shaping the public's opinion about a given topic or is able to coerce them to act or behave in a certain manner.

What does this mean, you may be wondering? By your logic, if video games are to blame for the downfall of our youth, then are our news outlets to blame for the lackadaisical and apathetic response to the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina? Should I mention the earthquake in Haiti for further elaboration on my thesis?

If anything, journalism has a more powerful hold on the minds of people than video games because of the easier access of the news and the most popular content is usually the most dreadful. Indeed, while the people must be informed they much also not be desensitized to the violence of the world, something both your area of interest and my area of passion manage to do.

However, you never made any particular claim, at least none I've seen (if I'm horribly mistaken please let me know) that explained why you are anti-video game, just that you are. I believe your argument is that people become anti-social and cold hearted or mean spirited because they play video games more so than they go outside and play; I believe you say what you say because there are a number of overweight children going around and playing World of Warcraft as opposed to trying to cure cancer. Perhaps, but at what point does personal responsibility become a factor in this equation as opposed to unjust resentment directed towards industries you have no true knowledge about?

I've been playing video games since the tender age of three; I have fond memories of defeating Blanka with the immortal Ryu in Street Fighter 2 with a flaming fireball and I still like to do that today. I'm not saying video games are 100% beneficial to the player, but I can boast quicker reaction times, much better hand-eye coordination, even increased brain speed, all thanks to the quick thinking necessary with Sonic the Hedgehog on the Sega Genesis (not the current generation one, that was awful). Similar minded video gamers tend to congregate and become friends; they tend to engage in the video game universe first and go on to, more than often at least, seamlessly drift into more fulfilled friendships as time and controllers go on. However, you probably don't know this, not being a gamer yourself and speaking from the outside looking in.

There lies the biggest issue with what you say: you're on the outside looking in. Can a man or woman that hasn't dabbled in politics be a good candidate for president? Can a farmer who spent his entire life picking crops immediately be thrown into the world of big business and expect to make the company very strong? Conventional wisdom says no, though I've been proven wrong before. After all, I did say the Miss America pageant was a load of crap, but what do I know? I'm not a Miss America contestant so I can't speak for it.
We must deal with the obvious: you come from a more rural area of Virginia where plantations and military battlefields are around every corner, so yes, your experience is different from mine. I was raised in Virginia Beach, Portsmouth and Norfolk, the Tidewater area, so I was always around more urban environments. Let me tell you: if I was out "playing imaginary games with sticks in the street" like you did when you were little, I'd of been hurt. As a matter of fact, what the hell were you doing playing imaginary games in the street? At the very least, couldn't you have used the stick for a purpose, like digging a hole in the safety of your front yard as opposed to in the middle of the street? Granted, Fredericksburg isn't Portsmouth; you can sit in the middle of a rather lowly populated town and the odds of getting hit by a car are much lower than in my home of P-Town. But still, imaginary games? How do you play imaginary games? That doesn't even make sense. At the very least you aren't Carrie Prejean though.

The elements of what a person does is directly related to their environment, for the most part. I played video games because of outside influence; I continue to play video games because its an outlet, a clever method of story telling, a way to go into another world without playing imaginary games with sticks and streets. Video games, in and of themselves, have no influence whatsoever; the person playing them, the individual, does. Not every video gamer is the stereotypical nerd with a 50 inch waist, 200 pounds of fat and no desire to see direct sunlight. Take me for example: I'm 20, in good shape, have an active social life and still maintain a hefty love of video games, actually critiquing them in my spare time which I have a lot of because I do my homework. In fact, one of my favorite things to do is debate on the whole issue of the positives of video games to the ignorant, i.e. you. Remember, ignorant means you don't know. If I called you stupid then I'd expect anger from you. As such, I expect minimal anger at best, but there's something about Virginia women that causes them to take everything to the next level when there is none. With that in mind, let me cut out the middle man and incite that anger. This is where the truly angry part of me comes out.

Listen to me, Ms. Cameron. If you really want to make it in the world of anything, journalism especially, you better learn to appreciate the realms of all digital and electronic media outside of your dying breed of television journalism. Until you have sat down with a video game controller and played a video game like a true gamer you don't have the right to say a damn thing. You can't claim to have such a better life when you yourself claim that you are a pianist but you couldn't get anything with it (one of my friends from Spelman is a pianist too; she's very successful), that you played varsity but couldn't get anything (again, that's a nothing special), and you had good grades but couldn't get anything. You claim you went into the Miss American pageant for the scholarship, but I have my doubts. Let's remember that your money from the competition comes from getting into a bikini and shaking your ass for Rush "I Hate Niggers" Limbaugh in the city of sin Las Vegas. Now ponder on that for a minute, your majesty.

Not Nearly As Mad As You May Think,

Christopher Lamb

P.S. -- Thank you, $Money$, for your valuable input that only makes this constructive criticism much more beneficial and worthwhile. And yes, I will return your game to you when I'm finished.

The DiZ Returns With A Review Intro: Mass Effect 2

2010-02-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

Let me first start out by saying you never know who you could fall in love with, watching Eskimo Tube... wait, that's the wrong context. I'm in a good mood today, a perpetual good mood that hasn't left me yet. This Saturday I got my new Xbox 360 and since then I've been playing it religiously. To be perfectly honest I'm in class right now and I was late because of it, and I can't stop saying nice things and making wonderful accolades about it.

I'm trying to keep myself calm. I'm initially excited about the system itself, finally having a system again. Then I'm excited about the game which has it's logo above this paragraph. Ever since it was first mentioned I've wanted Mass Effect 2, so imagine my joy in finally getting it AND playing it like I have been. I haven't been this happy playing a video game since... Mass Effect 1 to be perfectly honest. Heh, it's an experience I've always wanted: epic stories and flawless gameplay makes for a great game. I love every character and creature and environment and all of that, and I'm nearly done unless I'm mistaken. I've lost my crew and I'm flying into enemy territory; they don't expect me to survive. I prove people wrong.

I'm not writing the entire review now because I finish the game before I review, and as such I'm a little hyped because I only have one class tomorrow and its at noon. I can play all night. Oh, I'm so excited! Giggity! Okay, I'm done, DiZ out.

Guaranteed to Get You Children, Volume 1

2009-12-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Chris Lamb, and I am known as the DiZ. You might be asking yourself, "Self, who is this sexual piece of chocolate with the sexy eyes here?" Well, that is me. You might also be asking yourself, "Self, what is 'Guaranteed to Get You Children, Volume 1'?" Well, to answer that question allow me to explain my actions.

I love music and I love the sound of a woman after a fresh orgasm. Yes, I mean it just like that, I'm a very audio person and I love hearing women in joy because they enjoyed themselves. When I watch Maury Povich's show I weep, because half the women up there don't know what it means to make love to a man. Questions? Good. When a woman has sex and doesn't enjoy the moment then the result is (and yes, this is mildly vague) unwanted results afterward, sometimes manifesting in a child. I've heard it time and time again: women that have children from sexual experiences that weren't pleasurable turn out to be terrible parents to their children. It implies that the baby wasn't planned and the sex was just awful. That's no good.

I've beat around the bush for a little while now and I present my mixtape. The name says it all. My goal in life (this mixtape) is to make sex a total pleasure; this mixtape is an aphrodisiac and was designed to do the following things:

help in the making of children for couples
assist in making all parties involved hit the highest possible vocal notes during coitus
put the lubricants and jellies stored in houses nationwide to use
all of the above

That's why I made this list, and big names like Alicia Keys and Janet Jackson, along with more underground crooners such as Stone Mecca, are compiled in such a way to maximize pleasure and increase the chance of a massive orgasm. Don't believe me? Then tell me why one of my friends listed to this from start to finish and three tracks into it she was soaking wet. Don't believe me? Guess you won't know until you hear it then, will you?

I insert this disclaimer before the track list, however. I am NOT responsible for any children or diseases gained during sex while this collection of music is played, spoken of or thought about. Don't blame me for that shit; blame your horny behaviors. Remember to practice safe sex and only try for a baby if you're married and in good standing to actually support a child YOUR DAMN SELF! Don't be running to your parents for shit; they just gonna laugh and say, "It's yo problem; I did my time."

Great. With that said and done... I present...

The DiZ Presents... "Guaranteed to Get You Children" Volume 1 [mixtape]

TLC: Red Light District
Syleena Johnson feat. Twista: Phone Sex
Ginuwine: So Anxious
R. Kelly: It Seems Like You're Ready
Janet Jackson: Warmth
Janet Jackson: Moist
Alicia Keys: Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready)
Robin Thicke: Sex Therapy
Stone Mecca and RZA: The Walk
Esthero: Superheroes
D'Angelo: Untitled (How Does It Feel)
R. Kelly: Pregnant

Download, unzip, enjoy, and again, I am NOT responsible for any kids. Have fun!

The DiZ Reviews: Something Something Something Dark Side

2009-12-17T11:16:00.000-08:00

Incest is weird. That's not how I wanted to start off this review but I'm really starting to ponder the relationship pre-revelation of Luke and Leia and a line from Return of the Jedi that now sticks out to me. If you think about it hard enough then you'll get it.

Seth MacFarlane is an interesting character. A comic genius, richest cartoonist in Hollywood quite possibly, he's completely turned the world of American animation on its head with his flagship series, the invincible Family Guy. Canceled once, revived and stronger than ever, the series has been criticized by many animation masters for relying on cheap humor and it has equally been praised for its commentary; ironically enough sometimes the very people that put the man on blast utilized his many talents for their own projects.

Seth MacFarlane, the 100 million dollar man; the success of his show can be attributed, more than likely, to two reasons. One is Stewart Gilligan Griffin, the sexually ambiguous toddler and breakout character whose matricidal ambitions made him funny but whose homosexual tendencies made him a star, and the other is the what I like to call the "QTTV factor". That acronym stands for "Quentin Tarantino for Television" factor. See, Quentin Tarantino is a lot of things but one thing all, I repeat, ALL of his movies display is a slick homage to pop culture. Seth MacFarlane does this flawlessly with his infamous cartoon. Every episode is filled to the brim with jokes and insults that reflect the general ideas of whats going on in the world. Case in point, Seth MacFarlane knows pop culture and he uses that knowledge well. He uses it to the point where it gets him three shows on FOX and the occasional "almost live" special. So, we've explored Seth MacFarlane a very little bit. But he has a bit of a hiding place, I guess you could call it, a constant source of jokes and humor that he utilizes often and possibly unnecessarily. That source is the brain child of George Lucas: Star Wars.

I'm not going into the story of Star Wars; that's a post for a later day. I love Star Wars though and I try to keep up with the canon. The original trilogy (episodes 4 through 6 for those that don't know) is easily my favorite trilogy of films ever (The Godfather would have that crown if that bitch Coppola didn't fuck up the third one... *shakes fist*) and I take all spoofs, homages, tributes, parodies and half hour specials related to it seriously. That is except for Blue Harvest. The first Family Guy spoof of Star Wars, based on Episode 4: A New Hope, was a very tongue-in-cheek miniature remake of its origins. It followed the story great and inserted appropriate humor in all facets, even breaking away from the cutaway gags that made the show so popular/hated, save for a single one but it was so well integrated into the story that it almost didn't count.

I loved this parody for a lot of reasons but the main reason was that it did something I didn't expect: it pointed out the flaws. Seth MacFarlane actually pointed out the inconsistencies and stupidities of Episode 4: A New Hope and did it with perfect style. You might be asking, "DiZ, you carnal nerf herder you, what do you mean?" Well, here are some examples. When Han Solo was getting away from Star Destroyers and said he knew some maneuvers to get away, why did he just lazily veer to the left? If parsecs are a unit of distance, how can someone get there in less than 12 parsecs? These are things that made no sense and they were on the forefront in Blue Harvest. Now that I've talked for five paragraphs about everything but this special. Let's get into it now.

I can't tell you the story so much because the story is already known: it's Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back as told in the humor of Family Guy. Peter plays Han again, Lois plays Leia, Chris is Luke, Brian is Chewie, and Stewie is, of course, Darth Vader. The humor spread throughout is classic, perfectly fit into the situations. There are more cutaway gags but they play into the story integrally, not just for the sake of humor for humors sake. The number of inconsistencies mentioned, which was massive in Blue Harvest, was cut down in this one. That was a little strange to me but the bulk of the humor came from the blending of Family Guy canon and the Star Wars canon. I like how the rebel base was contradictory in itself because the electricity was plugged into ice. That's one of the few contradictions the movie shows. I like even more how the many, MANY secondary characters have prominent roles in the story, and by prominent I mean more than five seconds of screen time.

Much like Black Dynamite, this homage is great in the simple fact that it does nothing to take away from Star Wars and equally adds to the legendary series. Sure, I have my gripes. I felt it was a little too short, but it was only supposed to be about an hour long so I can't fault it for that. Sometimes the story moved a little too quickly and sporadically, much like Black Dynamite once again, but again this is somewhat attributed to time constraints. Not all of the characters fit into the mold as well as they could have (Carl as Yoda is a strange but mediocre choice for him in my eyes and Mort as Lando Calrissian was necessary but stupid) and Meg's lines, though very brief, were VERY unwelcome. Now that I think about it, that woman that voices Meg (Mila Kunis) is too damn sexy to be voicing such a lame character. She needs a new character, like a new sister older than Chris but younger than Meg, who actually inherited Lois' looks. And another thing: why did George Lucas make the Force scientific? I know MacFarlane didn't really care (he's an atheist) but dammit, when you take the supernatural mystery of religion out of Star Wars you make it less fun...

Wait, I was reviewing a parody. Right, uh, this was good, almost as good as its predecessor but not quite reaching the same greatness. I can say I enjoyed this one more but I don't consider it as good. So, onto the score:

The DiZ Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Now give Mila Kunis a better character, Seth MacFarlane, you nerf herding bastard!

The DiZ Reviews: Inglorious Basterds (The Leonard Maltin Tribute Review)

2009-12-15T17:55:00.001-08:00

Watch it.

The DiZ Score: 5 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: DJ Hero

2009-12-01T20:26:00.000-08:00

Yep, I'm still out a current gen console and my experiences are still restricted to display rooms and friendly unannounced visits to random houses, but somewhere between my pathetic attempts as video game nirvana I managed to get a solid grasp of the (possible) new phenomenon in rhythm based gaming: DJ Hero.

Bias would have played a major part in my review for this game if my love for music was any stronger, but it wasn't exactly difficult to balance out everything. After dozens of visits to Best Buy, half a dozen to Wal Mart, and one lucky house party featuring the new game, there was enough gaming experience to formulate a solid review and the response was a resounding: "It's okay..."

The rhythm based genre of games has always been an exercise in simple gameplay and great music, and in this respect DJ Hero glitters, not so much shines. The soundtrack is, as expected from the minds behind all Guitar Hero games from 3 on up, epic, a masterful list of mash ups that encompasses elements of hip hop (obviously) and a surprising amount of other genres and artists, from Isaac Hayes to Tears for Fears. Each recording is done to perfection. That leaves the gameplay to have to match the soundtrack though, and here's where we run into a couple of snags.

The interface is almost scary in how much is resembles Guitar Hero, but it works. Three buttons and some basic scratching techniques and you have the basic level. You add the fader bar and you hit the first snag. This particular feature is still in the earliest stages and sliding it from left to right isn't the most responsive motion. There's a loose (at best) distinction between the left, middle and right sides of it. The "euphoria" button (comparable to star power from Guitar Hero) is placed a little too out of the way and the ultimate idea behind it is clever but done strangely; it allows you to go back to a previous section you didn't quite excel at and try it again. The samples are a little too generic but in some songs they are a perfect fit.

The controls are the primary concern for a rhythm based game, but secondary to that is the graphics, and the irony behind a game like DJ Hero (or Guitar Hero or Rock Band for that matter) is that the graphics you want to see will be impossible to focus on lest you miss the buttons and cues of the scrolling mechanics. The wheel thing is nice. The background and atmosphere is nice but if you pay attention to that then you're going to lose. Background visuals are for the spectators, and that leads to another problem.

The game is a party game for one person, unless you want to fork out a lot of money for another DJ device. The price ultimately doesn't seem to justify the game. It's not bad, but it's not the revolution that Guitar Hero was when it first came out. This game is something of an experiment, and as such (much like Mirror's Edge, much like Tony Hawk Ride) it is up for VAST improvement. When DJ Hero 2 comes along the issues with the peripheral should be amended and maybe the price will even be a little more reasonable. As for this game, the novelty value alone would make it worthwhile, but as for a full game its better served as an experiment with room for improvement. Now, let's see if Scratch: the Ultimate DJ takes a hint...

The DiZ Score: 3.5 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: Nujabes' "Mellow Beats, Friends and Lovers"

2009-11-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

Here's another glimpse into the life of DiZ: Nujabes is his favorite non-US producer. I had to go on a US hip hop sabbatical one time because the radio was getting on my nerves in playing nothing but mainstream bullshit. This might have been around the time of Lil Wayne's first step to mega-fame (I still liked him back when he was Carter 2 Wayne) or possibly even earlier, I can't say for sure, but I left the US for my hip hop and went off to other nations, starting east. I stopped in London, heard some stuff but didn't really stick to it. I went down to Africa and heard some stuff, and I liked it but it was put on the back burner because I couldn't understand everything. I hopped up to the Middle East and examined the close relationship between hip hop and the skateboarding culture (and the religious aspects combating some of the music) and said to myself that I'd come back when pigs flew or a black man was pretty much running the world (this was before pigs had wings and Barack Obama wasn't even on my radar). I hopped to China and left because there were too many voices and finally I took a break in Japan to rest my feet.

Then, what do you think I heard? I was sitting there, eating a cup of noodles and beef, and I heard the beautiful hip hop of the infamous anime Samurai Champloo. Yes, one of my favorite animes, I had forgotten how rooted (almost entirely) in hip hop it was and I looked for some of the songs, only to fall in love and look for the soundtracks. As I fell in love with those I said to myself, "Self, these men are geniuses... look for more!" And self did, and self found a smorgasbord of music, two albums right off the back and two more later in the year, and another one the next year. And when I finally sat down to look at just who was responsible for so much of this I saw the name: Nujabes.

Nujabes, along with TSUTCHIE and DJ Krush, are my favorite non-US producers (I say non-US because it implies that they have no peers anywhere outside of the US) ever, but Nujabes is the first because his mellow beats not only inspired me but inspired my friends and inspired lovers. I wish I can remember the exact moment I heard his stuff for the first time (it was comparable to my eargasm when I first listened to Illmatic or Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor. You see, that's the beauty of his production; Nujabes samples mellow vibes, jazz and sounds of Japan, and he puts them into sick beats, sick beats that he uses to train others, to create proteges, and his independent record label is prime proof of that.

Whew... I don't think I can praise this man enough, nor do I want to stop praising him, but I have to stick to the topic at hand. This is a review for his latest album, the appropriately titled Mellow Beats, Friends and Lovers. Don't let the title deceive you: you will hear a bit of everything they describe in it on this album.

The album begins with a silky smooth cover of the Sade hit "Kiss of Life", production from the master Nujabes and vocals from the talented Giovanca and Benny Sings, a cover I expected to fall under the shadow of the original; to my surprise it came close to achieving the same emotional feel of the original, just falling a mite short for reasons that can't be put on paper. The next track is "After It", another mellow track (what did I tell you?) with a rainy backdrop and bonus production from No. 9; bonus production is a special term I use because Nujabes produces a heavy amount of the album but calls for some guest help often. This is an example, as are several of them. The next song is the nearly 9 and a half minute long "Aurora", produced in collaboration with Chari Chari. I say get this person a sandwich because it takes a special production to last so long and not get annoying. I do think it runs too long but it changes up as the minutes pass by so it stays fresh.

Next we have "Sitting on the Beach", with bonus production from "Calm". I was appreciative of how it wasn't another 9.5 minute monster, thank God; it captured a bit of a beach/islander feel to it like a party on a shore at sunset. The next track is "Green Power" with bonus production from Ino Hidefumi, a sick song combining the mellow with the friends (yep, it's about to shift) that reminds me a little bit of a song called "Angel Eyes", but I can't remember who did that song. Does it feel like a rip off? No, not at all, just a coincidental nod of appreciation I suppose. I don't get the title, not at all, but then again I don't get the names of half of Nujabes' song's titles.

If you haven't figured it out yet, Nujabes likes instrumentals. I do too, lets your imagination run a little wild. That's not to say he doesn't produce for rappers but it's just half of his repertoire. The next song is "Departure", featuring Akira Kosemura. Of all the songs on the album this one is the most friendly (friendly being a tip of the hat to the title of the LP). I think Nujabes meant to insert this kind of logic into the album. In any case this song is a sugary sweet treat, leading right into the one track some people might know in the states. "Right Here" is, I believe, one of the few tracks that Nujabes didn't handle. DJ Mitsu the Beats handles the head nodding, Sunday drive music production and the vocals are handled by one of neo-soul's golden boys (heh...) Dwele. Seriously, I've heard that one or two people have heard this before, but I don't know, who cares? This song is perfect for a Sunday drive or a nice little date with a special young lady (are you seeing this?!) in the mall. Dwele knows what to say.

"Jazzy Joint" is a song by J.A.M. featuring Jose James. After you stop laughing at the alliteration you have to sit down, listen to this song and appreciate the bebop feel to it and note how Jose James is singing and rapping simultaneously in some points. This track feels like a jump into an older era or a sexy night lounge, down to the minimalist feel of the production. After the alliteration massacre we have Sora's "Revans", a hauntingly calm song hard to explain because of how it acts almost like "Departure" did as a transitional song from mellow to friends; this time friends to lovers. Now, "Gelnia", feautring Takagi Masakatsu is probably my favorite instrumental track up here because it has a sound I'd expect from somewhere like Japan while adding a jazzy flair, a trademark of Hydeout Productions. This is a seduction track almost.

Next we dive into "The Session", featuring three people, three names I can't remember. This is to me what the Roots would do if Black Thought wasn't rapping; its something I imagine the Roots doing regardless, just having a jam session for the hell of it. This is a jam session for the hell of it, and a good one at that. All four artists listed (not here but on the track) contribute something akin to a verse and it fits nicely, nice and jazzy. Finally (not the last track but still I'd been waiting for it) is "Lust", a nice way to conclude the lovers aspect of the album (don't worry, I know what I said), and sure enough Rei Harakami just oozes lust with this track, total lust. It's sensual lust too, not "nasty girl bent over for a gangbang" lust but "shy girl enticing you" lust, very different.

World Supreme Funky Fellowship 2102 drops an interesting track with "#1 Dub", maybe my least favorite track but that's not a sign of disrespect or anything so much as a matter of timing; it belonged up in the mellow beats part. Anyway the song is like something a child would be around for, something a child would live to. It's like waking up under a big tree in a meadow with a sleeping puppy next to you. It's kid stuff, just like it needs to be.

My personal favorite track on the album is up now, "Vision Eyes" featuring the rapper Golden Boy (hence my earlier laugh) and Nujabes' protege Uyama Hiroto on production. I heard this song on Uyama's own album, "A Son of the Sun" (which I will review in a short time) and fell in love with it then so listening to it now it's like, "Glad to hear it again." The song is simply Golden Boy gazing at the wonders of life. I like this song, very much so. Next we come to the third vocal track with "Maintain" featuring O.C. and producer Grooveman Spot. We continue with the feel of the past with both the wordplay and the beat, a throwback to the bebop of decades past once again and the golden age rapping of the 80s.

The final song is pure Nujabes again, the Japanese-inspired "Child's Attraction". This is a fine way to close out the album, especially in concluding the fourth theme: childlike memoria. Yep, I just made up a new term. In any case the song ends off the fourth theme with Nujabes doing exactly what he always does, and that's ending the album with an epic feel.

I've had little but great praise for this album and its hard to find many faults, but there are two things that hold this back from taking a place as a classic album in my book. The first and most obvious is mood. The mood this album sets is definitely calm and rest worthy, but at times it can drag on and just sound boring, especially if you're just listening to it track to track and not pausing for anything. Even I found myself nodding a little bit or getting surprised when some of the songs seemed to blend together, especially during a phase or before a transition. My second complain is with the fact that this is a compilation. Compilation albums take a special meaning with Nujabes, however, because it feels like a new album but its a collection of tracks from other albums, something I picked up on the most clearly with the Dwele-assisted track and "Vision Eyes", one track I question the original origin of and the latter one I heard on Uyama's debut. Granted, I'm noticeably biased to compilation albums but I'd be a total hypocrite if I said I didn't have a few floating around in my iPod, one of them ironically enough (not this one) from Nujabes. Maybe I just need to find Hydeout Production's total discography, that'll help out. Until then, though, I have this compilation album and I love it despite my hate for compilation albums.

The DiZ Score: 4 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: Grand Puba's "2000"

2009-10-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

Two words that hardly go into the same sentence are "rap" and "longevity". It's rare that you see too many rappers start their careers in their late teens/early twenties and still have even an inkling of relevance when they push or even surpass forty. There are, of course, exceptions like Jay-Z (who can't seem to come to terms with the fact that he's nearly forty) and there are some that disappear right off the map after one song (Craig Mack). On the other hand you have some solo acts and groups that are lauded for their talent in staying in the game, like UGK, who some people will say are the greatest group for the sole purpose of being around since they are in their late teens. Don't worry, I'm making a point with this one.

Maxwell Dixon, known by his rap name Grand Puba, is one part of the landmark hip hop collective Brand Nubian, a socially and politically conscious collective of three rappers and two DJs that created one of the more popular alternative rap albums of the 90s with One for All. Grand Puba was arguably the frontman of the group, and at this point he might be the oldest. At 43 he's a walking anamoly, a rapper that still has a bit of significance in the world of hip hop and doesn't flaunt it. His latest album, Retroactive, while not as acclaimed as his debut, is a sign alone that age may not be the leading killer of careers in rap. But, this isn't about his latest foray into rap so much as the one I started with. I didn't really get into Grand Puba until I heard the single from 2000 and from there I went on to listen to more of his stuff and stuff from Brand Nubian (also known as the way I got into the Pharcyde after listening to Fatlip) and I can understand why he never again reached the fame of album number one. This is a review of 2000 so let's jump into it.

Puba begins the LP with Very Special, a misleading track that isn't all that special at all. Grand Puba drops some clever wordplay and displays some comedic lyricism (something he has going for him). Then it goes right into "I Like It (I Wanna Be Where You Are)" (hope you don't mind, but I'm tired of doing italics on a Mac so I'll do parenthesis) which is no doubt the second most apparent highlight of the album, and a worthy, danceable, fun single. "A Little of This" shares a problem that "Very Special" does and I'll get to that later, and "Keep On" is standard at best. "Backstabbers" is the album's standout track because of the way its done. Nowadays it's pretty common to have a rapper/singer collaboration where they effectively have a conversation with each other but back in 1995 this was still a kind of new concept. Its not the best song in the world, or even on the album, but its done with the same kind of clever comedy that Grand Puba is known for.

The title track suffers from being too short and too lost in the crowd for being the title track. "Amazing" is okay, though the beat is a little too inappropriate. "Don't Waste My Time" is possibly the funniest track on the album if only because of the chorus which features the classic line "Look at that sexy mama", but otherwise it had the potential to be a possible head banger. "Play It Cool" features Brand Nubian partner Sadat X and the two trade verses on the passable track and Grand Puba gets his bragging/pimping on with "Playin' the Game".

The last track on the album is a nod to the kind of music that made him and his group famous, "Change Gonna Come" and while it doesn't feature a Sam Cooke sample it does a fine job in getting a point across. That's Grand Puba's second album, and I'm at something of a crossroads here. Grand Puba is one of the rappers I give a serious listen to, one of the emcees I really vibe to, but this album isn't great. It's okay, but that's it right there: it's okay.

A few of the tracks suffer from being too long, WAY too long, like the first and third track, and tracks that should have a bit of length are too short, like the title track. Grand Puba isn't the most lyrical emcee out of New York but he's certainly more skilled than he's showing. On many occasions I heard the same words used almost as if they were part of a stock vocabulary as opposed to trying to spit something new. And another thing (this isn't a complaint but a query) I'm wondering: who is Stunt Doogie and how do you get respect with a name like that? Continuing on, the beat choice for a number of the latter tracks is kind of lacking and aside from the last track there's no sign of the Grand Puba that made the Nation of Gods and Earth rapper such a conscious source of hip hop. Again, it's not a great album but its passable. That's it, passable.

The DiZ Score: 3 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: You Have To Burn The Rope

2009-10-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

With my Xbox still out of commission and all my money going into school I have no way to reach a consistent area of console gaming as of right now. I do computer games but they take a little too long to obtain and it requires me to get rid of more valuable stuff on my PC to so that's a rarity as well. That leaves me to no major gaming this semester, my friends, but I still play all kinds of games that have more humble origins. Flash games and freeware are on my radar for the time being, Newgrounds especially. If you've never been there then check it out here. I'm a big fan of the flash movies but some of the games are of incredible quality, one of these being the greatest game you will ever play: You Have to Burn the Rope.

Words can't properly define the greatness of this game. It melds the epitome of complexity with the accessibility of simplicity and a plot that makes the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe go into an alley and cry. The characters make those of George Lucas look like cardboard cutouts and the sheer awesomeness of the gameplay makes Rockstar Games' cash cow as pathetically simple as Aquaman.

Well, that was kind of mean... in all seriousness though the game is pretty amazing. You are a small pink ball with a derby hat and an unlimited supply of axes that navigates his way through a small path to reach a large open area featuring the boss: the grinning colossus. You can throw axes at him but he'll just regenerate his health. You can't die so you don't have to worry about getting hit by the colossus, but you have to kill him. So how do you do it? Well there's a chandelier at the top of the room and some torches on the walls. You have to jump up with a torch and... well, if I have to explain what to do now then you're a damn moron. The chandelier falls and the grinning colossus dies. The screen fades to black and we come to hear the most epic ending theme song ever. Now You're a Hero is pure bliss. And that's the game. Short, sweet and easily won. I keep testing myself to see how fast I can do it but why? It's so easy and fun. The creators knew what to do and, in their own words, "we didn't want to make a longer game. This is it I swear its true... ooh-ooh-ooh..."

I know, this isn't like me. "DiZ, you randy hunk of chocolate pie, this isn't a proper review!" True, true, but You Have to Burn the Rope isn't something you review properly. You observe it and love it. That's my two cents to the game. I give it a perfect score because it's so flawless.

The DiZ Score: 5 out of 5

For your enjoyment I give you the link to the game here:

You Have to Burn the Rope (full game): have fun!

If you're having trouble winning, here's the strategy guide: you're a fool!

And if you just want to listen to the epic theme song then go here: "Now You're a Hero"

Going Back to VA for a Few Days

2009-09-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

Greetings, fan. Fans, maybe, plural, I don't know. Well, I'm going home for a bit; have to go back for the funeral of one of my mentors. I may not be posting much for this occasion so this is me and a simple "Catch ya in a bit!" So, catch ya in a bit!

The Nostalgic DiZ Reviews: Prince's "Dirty Mind"

2009-09-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

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Okay... let's talk about Prince for a second. We're not talking about Jehovah's Witness Prince. We're not even talking about Purple Rain Prince. No, we're going back, WAY BACK, to his third album, where he wasn't rocking purple suits yet but crazy jackets and thongs. Way back when he was standing naked or nearly naked at concerts and his music was considered the nastiest thing to ever come out of someone's mouth. Well Prince, you can take solace in knowing that some of your work is still that nasty. Dirty Mind marked a turning point in the Minnesota sound. Gone was the commercial sound of the first albums and here was the now experimental and overly sexual sounds of Minnesota's finest. Most of the production was done by Prince himself and if this didn't paint Prince as a sex symbol (or at the very least a musical wet dream for women (and certain men I suppose) everywhere) then it marked him as just plain creepy at times. Let's get into this short album's short review and try to stay kind of innocent throughout.

Prince comes out of the gate with Dirty Mind, which is about exactly what it sounds like. Prince talks about some of his sexual thoughts, almost like a sampler for the rest of the album. From here he gets into When You Were Mine, a stalker/coward/pathetic kind of track devoted to how even after breaking up with a woman he's still really into her. It's the detail of what the other guy was doing throughout the entire process that creeps me out. Do It All Night is just another anthem to sex; essentially Prince is talking about how he wants to do it all night long. Yeah, there's nothing hidden in that track, no hidden message or anything. He wants to have sex all night long, period.

The raunchy talk takes a little break with Gotta Broken Heart Again. It's the "I miss my baby" track. I'm not mad at that, not at all. But the sex comes back with Uptown. I like this track because it's not just some sex track as much as a vision of a personal utopia, something of a hedonistic society much like I myself want to create one day. And after this... *sigh*... okay, before I mention the next track allow me to explain how Uptown is kind of like a part one of a three part track. The two songs following it seem to blend with the feel perfectly and act as examples of this utopia. With that being said... *sigh* let's get into... Head.

Head is about exactly what it sounds like. Prince is trying to get a woman about to marry someone to have sex with him, and she consents to head. Wow. I can't make that up, and in my first time hearing this album I thought this was the nastiest you could get. Nope. The next track, Sister, blows that track's brains out (insert joke here) as he talks about an incestuous relationship with his own sister. No. This takes the cake as the nastiest song I have ever heard. Sorry Scarface. Sorry Brotha Lynch Hung. You two niggas gotta take note: Prince in his early days was a total freak, and God bless him, he was a great singer-songwriter at the same time!

We end the album with the track Partyup, which is a good way to bring the album to a close but a bit of a let down considering the three previous tracks. The music Prince brings to sound as a whole is more than innovative. It's just unbelievable. I remember there was a debate long ago about who was better: Michael Jackson or Prince. With Michael's passing I don't think such a question can ever be properly be answered by a large crowd, but me, considering Michael's evolutionary take to pop as opposed to Prince's revolutionary approach to music, hold Prince in a slightly higher regard. He's calmed down the sex talk now thanks to religion but he's yet to really lose a step; even has a sexy young protege I wanna turn into my Darling Nikki. Yeah, Prince crafted a monster with Dirty Mind, and after listening to it I can say that I'm just a little dirtier myself.

The DiZ Score: 5 out of 5

The DiZ is Reviewing...

2009-09-23T08:25:00.000-07:00

This is a simple filler post talking briefly about what albums/games/movies/TV shows I'm going to review shortly. This one is specifically about music though. The things to be reviewed in a short time are:

Skyzoo's "The Salvation" -- This guy has been on my radar since his EP with 9th Wonder came out. I'm surprised he doesn't have the hype that he deserves. The album (which I am listening to now) enlists the production of others and I can say that so far my gripes are at a low. Stay tuned.
Ghostface's new LP -- I don't remember the name of it right now. Sue me. Anyway I've always been a fan of the Wu so I'm looking forward to this one, however there has been talk that this is going to be a more R&B oriented album, and I'm not looking forward to that at all. If I hear too much auto-tune I'm probably going to lose my mind.
Brother Ali's new LP (?) -- I put the question mark because I don't know if I'm going to do it or not. Brother Ali is responsible for some serious hits but I'm not sure if I want to take on so many reviewing responsibilities right now. If I do, I do, but if I don't, well... whatever.

That's my two cents for the evening. DiZ, out!

The DiZ Examines: Pokemon

2009-09-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

I love anime, and for some reason purple haired girls in anime are unnecessarily sexy. Was that a tangent? No, not really, because this is about anime and more specifically the infamous Pokemon. Let's forget about the popularity of the little pocket monsters and look past the trading card phenomenon and the long running cartoon and the amazing video games, and we can see what Pokemon is really about: SLAVERY!

Yep, we're not going to talk about the racial stereotypes and blackface:
Let's forget about the fact that the show is responsible for thousands of seizures:

Let's look past the transgenders:

We can even look beyond the support of the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms:

And we're not even going to touch the topic of September 11th insensitivity (this one isn't so harsh as the others; the episodes were made before the event even occurred):

Nope, we're going to focus on the slavery aspects and how pikachu is the token black guy.

Yeah... creepy. In any case, let's get into it.

Don't say I don't like Pokemon; as a franchise I think it's genius. Take something as simple as capturing monsters and using them to do your bidding and then create more than 300 types of creatures you can capture and use to do your bidding and what do you have? A basic concept. Expand on it a bit and you have methods for capturing them and various locales reminiscent of the land they originated at. Now you have a stronger concept. Lastly you add the financial backing of a large company and television, movie, and video game presence and there you have a phenomenon. Isn't it great? When Pokemon started I was one of those kids that loved it too, one of those "I wanna go see the Pokemon movie!" kids that was visibly disappointed when he didn't get his promo card. I was one of those kids that collected the cards but didn't have a clue how to play the game. I was one of those kids that begged his parents day in and day out for a Game Boy just so I could play the game. In a way the game is the main reason I still like the franchise; when they finally make a console version of it I'll be pretty happy. In any case, it's a genius creation, and because of all the glitz and glamor of it the underlying (and I might be reading too much into this, sue me) themes of it can be tossed aside rather calmly.

I mentioned the aforementioned elements because I notice them now as opposed to when I first watched the episodes, those I remember at least. Some of them I waited a little while to see because they were banned in the USA. When I went back to watch them I was just happy to see the shows, didn't really take into consideration the more adult elements of it all. Then again, as I grew up I started to think just a bit more adult as well, both positively and negatively. I noticed the budding love and/or sexual tension between Ash and Misty but I was also wondering how she would have looked after... er... "development"... yeah, I'm assuming something like this:
I don't know, that's just me. You have to remember that this was and is a children anime, so you can't think or say things like that on the regular. Even so, and I'll admit it now, I don't understand why they gave all the females on this program breasts except for Misty. Moving away from the dirty thoughts, Pokemon is a concept based around catching and using creatures, all for the purpose of self gratification and sloth. The parallels can be drawn very easily between this and slavery, but there are so many elements thrown within to mask this to a degree. Take the capturing method first of all: the pokeball:
Notice how Wario is attempting to capture this pikachu. He's throwing a ball at him in hopes of capturing him and keeping him captive, and why? To use him. Much like the cubicle and the eternal damnation of Drew Carey's middle management existence, the pokeball is used to control and keep organized the creatures caught. They are then carried around or put into storage, confined to a box made by "Bill" and kept there until the master - "trainer" - lets them out.

Pokemon are used for battle purposes and to work. Some people simply play with pokemon, warranting a strange form of bestiality, but I wonder just why in the hell you need to literally capture a creature to play with it. That's cruelty.

The trainers are mirrors of slave masters. They capture these creatures and use them to their bidding, deciding whether or not to let them go eventually if they please. Ash, the main character of the anime, has, to the best of my knowledge, released two slaves, I mean pokemon: a pidgeot(to) and a butterfree. When he embarked on a new adventure he simply brought along pikachu (getting to him in a minute) and put the others in storage. No, that's cruelty.

Pikachu... the token black guy. Pikachu is the benchmark for the token character, the one exception to the rule of the usual pokemon by being the "free" pokemon that follows his master like a loyal "house nigga" and defends him from most dangers. Alternatively, he displays a mind of his own and doesn't always bend to Ash's will, but 9 times out of 10 he will. Ash's other pokemon are captives and they stay in their balls until called out, at least until Ash gets rid of them (correction: he actually let go of a lot of pokemon) or they get out of control. Example: Charmander, who was obedient and turned to Charmeleon, who was lazy and only turned obedient to immediately cross the final threshold into becoming the almighty Charizard... who didn't give a shit what Ash had to say and fought on his own terms. And lost. Often. Unless he listened to Ash. I found that to be funny: a rebellious pokemon doing his own thing and only succeeding when listening to his master? Oh my, that's not strange at all! Bastards...
When you consider it, looking past the simple animal cruelty, a lot of the pokemon are racial stereotypes within themselves. Let's look at some of those. First off: Snorlax
Fat, lazy, useless... with the exception of when he's awake. That way he can stand up for two seconds and fall asleep again, falling on the enemy. He's a waste of space and he can't even do one sit up, and I find it crazy that he resembles a new character on primetime:
Next victim: Psyduck!
The mentally retarded and overweight duck that can't remember how to do anything but be stupid! For shame! Even his clone was a moron! Even capturing this thing was a mistake! What more is there to say?

I'm going slightly off topic but maybe that's for the best. Going any deeper into this topic is like forbidden territory: you want to delve into it but you know that you shouldn't. Too often in this show there is an element of the "happy slave" that joyfully follows the words and actions of his master, and any sort of rebellion is met by failure. I've always wondered why humans weren't capable of being captured by pokeballs, but that would just open up the door to dirty thoughts (I know I wish I could have captured Mya in a pokeball, insert sexual innuendo here) and we can't have that on a kid's show... can we? I'm DiZ: I rant about it so you don't have to. Lastly, to remind you of the evil of Pokemon:

The DiZ Reviews: Foreign Exchange's "Leave It All Behind"

2009-09-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to say it: I want Phonte to step into the booth again and start rapping. That's no reflection on his skill as a singer, but since I consider Little Brother to be one of southern hip hop's most valuable collectives they need to come back one day, just like Black Star, one of New York hip hop's most valuable collectives, need to come back. Nowadays everyone has seemed to go there own ways. Rapper Big Pooh is doing his thing, showing improvement in his mixtapes and albums. 9th Wonder left the group and we're still waiting for The Wonder Years to come out. That track So Sincurr is still incredible to me. As for Phonte, the unofficial leader, definite frontman, what has he been up to? He's been singing with his Netherlands connect, Nicolay.

Foreign Exchange is an interesting group. Phonte and Nicolay never met before going on tour to promote their album. They made their music with virtually every medium of communication outside of meeting face to face and they created a great album with their debut Connected. Phonte was on both singing and rapping duty on that one, as were his Justus League cohorts, but when the second installment came along, Leave It All Behind, we were all a little shocked to see that Phonte only spit on two songs for two small verses; otherwise he was singing. A lot of people, fans of Little Brother, have hated on Phonte since he liked to get his R&B self out sometimes (Percy Miracles) but he's a very capable singer. He's no Luther Vandross but who is? He's something like 50 Cent in this respect, able to stay in key and possessing a voice worthy of a singer. Is it strong enough to carry an entire album? No, not really. I can be, but the end result would have been strange. Perhaps that's why Foreign Exchange enlisted the assistance of two more: Carlitta Durand and Zo!, as well as a few guests. The end result is the most refreshing R&B/neo-soul album I've heard in a good while.

The opening track, Daykeeper, features singer Muhsinah and serves as the most interpretive track on the album, a sweet and haunting kind of distant love track, with windy moments and rising suns. It could be my favorite track on the album, but I try not to play favorites all like that. Next we have Take Off The Blues, featuring longtime Little Brother collaborator Darien Brockington in a more uptempo invitation for Phonte's lady to chill out and relax with him a little bit. No, it's not a sex song either. This track is just great for the message and the trumpet solo in the latter half of it. From here we go into the two parter again featuring soulful stylings from Mr. Darien Brockington, All Or Nothing/Coming Home To You. When I first played through the album way back when I fell in love with this song because of the humorous intro skit. The song kind of examines the specifics of relationships and how some things are a little too petty to be knitpicking about. The second part of the track is more Darien Brockington heavy and it's the sequel of sorts, hence the title. In part one the narrator (Phonte) is getting kicked out, and in part two the narrator (this time Darien) is coming home to the same lady that threw him out for undressing and throwing his clothes on the floor. That's okay though; he wanted to play Xbox on the big TV anyway, ha! This is also a special song because it features one of the two verses that Phonte raps on; rapping takes a MAJOR back seat to singing on the second Foreign Exchange LP, and it shows. The verse is okay, nothing too advanced for someone of Phonte's caliber but it gets the job done.

The next track was the one that took a while to grow on me. I Wanna Know is even more upbeat than the second track and it features Phonte trying to get his girl to open up; MENTALLY! Again, no sex talk, just mental goodness; he wanted to know about her. Now we come to House of Cards, a short track about changing the dirty ways the man is going through and knowing that continuing such a thing would cause things to crash down, just like a house of cards as Musinah and Phonte so calmly and masterfully sang. This is also pretty neo-soul too; the album is kind of divided in this gap between R&B and neo-soul. I prefer the neo-soul but it all works out. The next track is Sweeter Than You and I can say that I'm not feeling this track so much as the others. It's a little too sickly sweet for my tastes, and simple. Too simple for someone like Phonte. The hypocrasy shows in my words when I show my praise to Validation, a slightly more somber short but sweet track where Phonte is going through something with his girl. Then we shift gears a little bit and Phonte takes the back seat to the lovely YahZarah with the next track, If She Breaks Your Heart. It's her track and Phonte just does backing/hook vocals. The song is pretty self explanitory, as is the next track featuring the very same songstress, If This Is Love. I like the little duo of tracks here because Phonte isn't hogging the spotlight like I imagined that he would.

The home stretch starts with one of my other favorites, Something to Behold. Aside from featuring Darien Brockington AND Munisah, aside from featuring a longer, more user friendly verse from one half of Little Brother, it features the greatest chorus I've ever heard on a song. EVER! Check it out:

I want to call you everyday, when I ain't got shit to say

This must be love (be love... yeah)

Bring you some wings on your lunch break

Like, "Baby, how's your day?"

Twelve piece, fried hard... it's all for you

DAMN! Percy Miracles came back from the dead for this track here. It's a great song, just happy and even a little instructive. Fellas, if you want to make your lady happy then try bringing her some wings on her lunch break every now and then. Ask her how her day is when she's crunching that twelve piece, fried hard dead fowl. Enough praise, back to the review and onto the final song of the album, the title track itself.

I was pleasantly surprised by this song and I still play it now when I'm in a bad mood. Phonte handles the vocals entirely I believe, and he's basically saying that regardless of the situation you have to leave it all behind sometimes, and if it gets too rough then leave it all behind. Leave it all behind, the title makes perfect sense when you hear this track.

I'm a fan of Foreign Exchange, and the big change of style between this album and the previous Connected is drastic but welcome. I was a little upset to hear such a decrease in the verses from arguably Carolina's number one emcee and while I do love to hear him sing I slightly prefer him when he's either overly comical or just having fun. He could be a serious contender in the world of R&B and if he does then more power to him. But I don't want to see him end his rapping career to do so. He can do both and he can do them both pretty damn well.

He's a brilliant emcee. Watch him kill this verse from The Minstrel Show's "Watch Me".

He's a good singer. Watch him make Soulja Boy's crappy song sound good.

I thought he was done singing on this scale after that Percy Miracles EP, something I'm proud to say I have in my collection, but I see he still has the R&B bug in him. On this album he gets overshadowed by too many guest appearances however, stronger voices but good voices nonetheless. Nicolay's production is fantastic and compliments the vocal work more than perfectly, but again, next to Phonte's voice its a little overpowering at times. The biggest compliment I can give this album is the biggest complaint: the voice of Phonte. Sounds good and organic but just doesn't have the strength of someone like Darien Brockington. With this being said a lot of people claim that this album would have been better if a more powerful voice was on it, like Anthony Hamilton. I disagree and say that Rahsaan Patterson or Geno Young would have the perfect voice for this. But it wouldn't have sounded so organic. Phonte and Nicolay work so well together that any changes would be pushes too far in either direction, good or bad, and eventually you go from bad to terrible and good goes to the other end of the spectrum when you do too much. Do you see what I'm saying? If not, that's okay; it's hard to explain. Case in point, this is a good album. Is it better than its predecessor? Yes and no. Yes for those that love some smooth easy going laying on the porch R&B and neo-soul, and no for those that love some smooth easy going laying on the porch rap. It's all about preference, a scapegoat I go to every time I'm on the fence. I have my gripes but I can't complain for real. Phonte (and Little Brother for that matter) has yet to let me down for real and this is no exception.

The DiZ Review Score: 4 out of 5

(Side note: I took a long time to write this one out so it'll appear between some previous posts as opposed to wear it would chronologically speaking. Hope you don't mind. Peace.)

A DiZ Nostalgic Review: Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy

2009-09-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, well, how long has it been since I've written a game review? Not too long; the real question is how long ago has it been since I did a film review. I wanna review "Jennifer's Body" because... well, it's Megan Fox... do I need another reason? No, I don't, and I'd be lying if I said lust wouldn't play a part in the score the film got. Alas, being of dark of skin and low of yen I can't afford the movies right now and, after some recent developments, I may have to go ballistic against my school because of some old bullshit but that's not for here and I won't rant about it here (fuck this college!)

Instead I'm going to try and focus on some more comforting issues, like gaming, and older games. Anyone that really knows me knows that I love Star Wars. I love it, more than some aspects of life. I love it more than I hate the woodland critters that worship Satan, and that's saying something. I love Episodes 4 through 6 and I tolerate Episodes 1 and 2 (damn you George Lucas for taking the religious aspect out of the Force *shakes fist*) and Episode 3 was a decent return to form. I like The Force Unleashed because story wise its a great way to bridge the gap between the two it comes between, even if the game is kind of lacking. I love the stormtroopers and the Jedi are just incredible to me, so much so that I nearly joined the new age religion of Jediism (no, I'm just kidding). Yes, my love for Star Wars is scary, and

as such my love for Star Wars games is strong too. I don't like all of them but those I do like I usually display a heavy obsession for, such as this game here. Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy is one of the finer games out of Lucasarts, one of the few George had a hand in and didn't mess up, and it follows the story of Jaden Korr, a male or female human/Twi'lek/Rodian/Kel Dor Jedi recruit who was lucky enough to find himself a lightsaber before going to the academy. He becomes friends with Rosh, who is obviously the guy you know is gonna turn to the dark side, and you, as Jaden, go on missions... that Jedi do. He's this future prodigy (as far as Star Wars canon goes) that you follow the story of everything. You can customize him to a degree (preset things) but ulti

mately he's just that guy with the lightsaber with some sweet force powers and possibly a saber staff.

The story is almost stereotypically Star Wars. You're a Jedi recruit, you go on missions, you fight the dark side. I don't like how your alignment is strictly determined by one action in the final parts of the game but what isn't nowadays? Each mission is pretty decent, aside from one involved with thresher maws and level 1 force abilities. That mission is still pretty shit to me, easily the one I hate the most. A level 3 mission takes a close second. You have to continually evade a mutated rancor, nasty business.

Let's give some props to John Williams too. The man isn't composing any new songs for the game but he's using the very songs from the film

saga that made it great. I would have loved to have heard Duel of the Fates at some crucial battle scene, but that would have been just a little much. The sound effects (blaster sounds, lightsaber swings, speeder bikes) all sound 100% authentic and true to the movie, just like they should.

Controls are good but they take a minute to get used to. The game likes to switch to 1st person when a gun is in hand but you can change that with the press of a button. Third person gunplay is fun, but you don't really use this to its truest advantage until a later level in the second stages. You'll see what I'm talking about if you play it. The lightsaber controls, the staple of the Jedi Knight franchise now, is ridiculously easy and unnecessarily fun. Click the mouse and he or she swings the lightsaber. Move with the lightsaber and swing it and you have even more fun. Hit both mouse buttons and you do a Kata. Of course I'm talking about the PC version (p

layed the Xbox version too; loved it). Its a blast. In fact, most of the simple things in this game are the most fun. Lightsabers, speeder bikes, oh, the speeder bikes. Take a blaster or a lightsaber and try to stay alive as you flee the enemy. You will fail this mission, often, and when you finally get it you will be so overjoyed.

Now, the multiplayer of this game is easily more fun than the main story, and the story is fun. You can use Jedi or bounty hunters (my favorite non-Jedi Bobba Fett and clones as such) and you try to kill each other. Hooray violence! This multiplayer gives the game a re-playability that isn't really achievable in the single player. The game is memorable but kind of cliche, and its fun but predictable too. Game play wise the boundaries are pushed a little bit, the game is pretty cutting edge for the time, but its nothing big time, nothing that can't be replicated now. The lightsaber combat, despite being fun, is still pretty

reckless, and you can die a little too easily against some of t

he higher level Jedi and non-lightsaber wielding Jedi. That works against the game but my biggest problem is the sand wyrms.

I hate sand wyrms, thresher maws in every other game. They pop up in the most inopportune times and they're terribly annoying. Not just that, but the

y can just pop up and eat you. If the level where you need to repair your ship and had to deal with sand wyrms was in a later stage, maybe if the Jedi was at level 2, I probably wouldn't mind so much, but as it is the game is a total buzzkill when it comes to its time (you can skip it but you miss out on a force power) you wet yourself. Yes, I said it: you wet yourself.

I have a lot more praises for the game than I do com

plaints, and while this is far from the best Star Wars game to ever come out (my bid is on Knights of the Old Republic 2 if the game was completed) it serves as a shining example of what Lucasarts is capable of. I'm the Nostalgic Gamer; I remember it so you don't have to.

DiZ Score: 4 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews Yet Again: Kid Cudi's "Man on the Moon: The End of Day"

2009-09-16T08:57:00.001-07:00

Before I conduct this re-review let me first apologize to Kid Cudi. I half assed on his review and, considering just how good it is, I can't actually let that one stand. It's not a bad review, mind you, just not up to the standards I've set for myself. I lied to a degree and said that it was impossible to properly review this album. It's not impossible, just difficult. Let's try this once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kid Cudi is an interesting character. In my eyes he's the combination of Kanye's charisma and personality with Outkast's eclectic persona, mixed together to a fine, smooth liquid, destroyed in a garbage disposal, and recreated into a skinny nigga who used to sport a mo

hawk. He's part of this new generation of rappers more on the side of lyricism and complimenting the production rather than falling back on it. Say what you want to say about XXL magazine and the yearly freshman class, but the 2010 edition had some true talent. Blu released an album with Exile that a lot of people consider a classic. Charles Hamilton releases a mixtape every two hours. Asher Roth is the new great white hope. Wale is a lyrical mastermind. Kid Cudi is arguably (don't quote me) the best act of the ten. He embodies one of the most important aspects of hip hop despite not being purely hip hop: innovation.

I know, Soulja Boy embodies innovation too... if you want to call it innovation. But Kid Cudi brings something ENTIRELY new to the table. Stoners are common and rappers that half sing are becoming more and more common, but combining both elements AND rapping about space shit is simply incredible. Let's get this out of the way: Kid Cudi's album is great, as good as Only Built for Cuban Linx Part 2. Yeah, I said it, and I didn't acknowledge it before because my listening experience wasn't as good as it should of been. I've listened and re-listened to the album for days and now I can properly give it the review it d

eserves.

Cudi starts off on a high note with the intro, In My Dreams, a somber little look into the mind of Kid Cudi (whose name eludes me right now) and a set up for the rest of the album. At the end of the track one of the greatest rappers of all time (yes, I said it!) Common begins his album narration. Yes, Man on the Moon: The End of Day is more than just an album: it's a concept album of the highest caliber. It's divided into five "acts", each titled, and Lonnie Lynn, Jr. narrates the story thus far at the end of each act. See, the album acts as a space age, psuedo-biography to the life of Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi, beginning with the somber In My Dreams, ending that track with Commo

n's narration, and moving right along into Soundtrack 2 My Life, a heartfelt look into some of what Cudi goes through, with such lines as:

I'm super paranoid like a sixth sense

Since my father died I ain't been right sense

And I try to piece together the puzzle of the universe

Split an eighth of shrooms just so I could see the universe'

Kid Cudi is human, albeit a constantly lifted human, but he goes through problems like the rest of us. From his problems he goes into Simple As... and lays down some ideal situations. This concludes Act 1: The End of Day, best described as an introduction and in-depth look into the mind of Kid Cudi, inside his dreams and weed-laced mindset. Common drops a bit more knowledge (he needs to do a poetry album with his pop... and Papa Wu) and introduces us to the next Act: Rise of the Night Terrors.

With a name like that you expect some kind of scary situations, right? In a sense. Kid Cudi kicks off Act 2 with the hauntingly piercing Solo Dolo. In my opinion (and this is one of my beefs with the album) this song is the first that he actually raps on. He does a combination of rapping and singing for the most part, even on this song, but he actually raps in the latter part. The song itself is a bit of self deprecation, self pity, but while you feel for the man you jump right into the track that gets him out of this slump, the inspiring Heart of a Lion (Kid Cudi's Theme Music) and describes how he, despite all the bullshit he's been through, still has the heart of a lion and pulls himself out of the crap. The last song of the act is My World featuring Billy Craven. Delving into the realm of the ideal world once again (much more explicitly

) Cudi spits fire once again (half rap, half singing fire mind you) and Common once again steps in to introduce the next Act: Taking a Trip.

So how appropriate is it that Day 'n' Nite is the first track of the new act? The lonely stoner, as he called himself, is looking for something in this song, but that "something" eludes me. Great track, a wonderful way to introduce himself to the world. Sky Might Fall, one of my favorite tracks on the album, maintains the space theme of the album and acts a psuedo-inspiration for the listener, assuring the listener that even if the sky falls "remember you can fly". Enter Galactic is, from my understanding, the track a lot of people aren't really feeling. Granted, the song is the standard song for the ladies, but I don't find it as bad as others do. It's a great addition to the space-age feel of the album. Common drops in once again to narrate the album (I might insert his sections at the end of the review because they're incredible) and we come to my favorite (and possibly the worst) Act of the album: Stuck.

"Stuck" begins with Alive and Cudi Zone respectively. Both tracks are well enough, but the further along you get into the album the more songs of space age status start to merge together. They still sound ok

ay, but we come to my second major grievance with the album, the second single Make Her Say. This is quite possibly my favorite Kid Cudi song ever, but it doesn't fit in with the rest of the album. Kanye and Common (at his fucking nastiest) drop some deviant verses with the Lady Gaga (she's creepy to me... good creepy, but creepy...) sample in the backdrop. I would have preferred that Cudi saved this track for his next album, but as it is this track, in my opinion, would have been a better bonus track. This leads us into the latest single, Pursuit of Happiness. I like this song (though I would have preferred Heart of a Lion or Sky Might Fall as his next single) and I really like the feel behind the track. It's fun, inspiring, upbeat, and resumes the space age feel set by the rest of the album. Perhaps that break with Make Her Say was intentional so the sounds wouldn't merge together so muc

h. Anyway, we leave this song and go into a Common narration once again, going into the final Act: A New Beginning.

At only two tracks long, A New Beginning is a fitting end to a great album. Cudi does a bit more pure rapping (I stopped caring so much about the half and half style in Act 3) with Hyyer and brings the album to a happy, almost full circle finish with Up Up and Away, where he finally wakes up, concluding the almost dreamlike sequence and bringing the great album to a beautiful close.

This is the best alternative hip hop album to come out in a long, LONG time. I said alternative because Raekwon is far from alter

native. On a whole I put their albums on the same level, but in different ways. Both have their flaws and both still manage to shine bright. I consider this album, and in essence R

aekwon's latest, to the game Portal. Ever play it? It's a great game, nearly flawless. Its short enough to not overstay its welcome and challenging enough to keep your interest. The problem with it (if you want to call it a problem) is just around personal preference, just like virtually everything. That's why Kid Cudi has crafted a certified near-classic with this LP. I didn't give him the proper score before because I was unfairly comparing it to Raekwon's sequel (now HE knows how to make a sequel, unlike that other New York rapper *cough* Jay-Z *cough*). Now I'm not. Kid Cudi is a leader of the new school, and I can't wait for his next piece of work.

The DiZ TRUE score: 4.5 out of 5

As a little gift, this is one of the narrations from Common, the first one. This is back to the roots of his poetry. Makes me regret even more than he created Universal Mind Control. Go to this link and read the last part. This is Common at his best.

You Niggas Are Fickle: Examination of Kanye's "outrageous" behavior

2009-09-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

In the words of people that hate John McCain, "Go fuck yourself." Seriously, this isn't the first time that Kanye has done something like this; that nigga does it virtually every award show! And what pisses me off is that the same people that are crucifying him for having an opinion are the same ones that are going to buy his next album by the dozens. Here's my middle finger, please take the advice it gives. DiZ, out.

The DiZ Rants About: The Blueprint 3

2009-09-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

*Sigh*... I'm not exactly Jay-Z's biggest fan. No, scratch that, I just straight up fucking HATE Jay-Z sometimes. He claimed to be the Michael Jordan (congrats to his recent Hall of Fame induction) of recording, but we have to remember that Jordan was significantly less spectacular in his return and actually disgraced his own name from time to time. That being said, is the title of being the Michael Jordan of Rap as good as it seems? I said I don't like Jay-Z too much, but I have respect for him that doesn't properly reflect that lack of liking him. I don't maintain a "greatest rapper of all time" mentality but I do consider Jay-Z to be one of the greatest, top 5 maybe, top 10 without a doubt. That's crazy because I consider half his catalog to be bullshit. All three Volumes pissed me off because of the mainstream shift he adopted and the second Blueprint album (this is a review for the third if you remember) had me debating how many cars the nigga would need to buy me to repent. Kingdom Come had me wishing *WARNING: hyperbole alert!* the shots he took in the 99 Problems video actually did off him *Hyperbole complete* and... well, speaking about The Blueprint 3 now would ruin the rest of this rant.

Notice I only mentioned part of his discography in that. I love Reasonable Doubt, citing it as Jay's opus and the first (and by the rules of logic it should have been the only) Blueprint album is still one of the most listened to albums in my collection. I wish The Black Album was really his last album because it would have ended his record making career on a MASSIVE high note, higher than Scarface could ever make a woman hit, and American Gangster, despite being a carbon copy of his debut opus, is still one of the best albums of any genre for the year 2007. I feel that Jay-Z and his albums are a mixed bag of hit and miss, and I feel that the misses on a macro scale are more misses than hits. Single wise, track wise, yeah, I think Jay-Z has countless masterpieces, but that's all in the past. This is about the future, and the futuristic sound (KiD CuDi) of The Blueprint 3. This album, like the second installment, is a bit of showcase for other artists, similar to Roc La Familia, which wasn't Jay-Z's album but it was marketed as such to make sales. A friend told be about this, I didn't believe him... let's get into it...

The album starts with the intro (duh) called What We Talking About. Good usage of verbs there, Mr. Carter. Anyway he's back to his old antics, talking about how great he is. I don't give a rat's ass if he's our president's best friend; WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, JAY-Z! You don't have to constantly remind us! You are not Mike Jones! This goes right into Thank You, which is filled to the brim with statistical inaccuracies and more bragging about the shit he gets to do with all his money! Then we get into D.O.A. Skip. Run This Town. Fast forward (I didn't like his lyrics, ha!) to Kanye's verse and call it a day. I've always wondered why people put Kanye on their tracks: he murders ever guest verse he's on without so much as a broken sweat. Besides that I wish a more developed voice was utilized rather than Robyn "I let my boyfriend(s) beat on me" Fenty, better known as Rihanna.

Empire State of Mind COULD have been the best track on the album, if Nas was on the track. Obviously (and I'm not just saying this because I don't like Jay-Z) this is a poor attempt as the magic Nas made TWICE with New York State of Mind. Alicia Keys on the track is just... sexy, so I can't complain about that, but Jay-Z sounds like he should be on a GPS system with this piece. Real As It Gets... uh... this is known as an attempt to get the southern audience. Let me say something: a Young Jeezy guest verse NEGATES ANY CHANCE TO HAVE A CLASSIC ALBUM! That's taking nothing away from Jeezy (one of my favorite voices of the south) but he's not ANYWHERE on the same lyrical scale as Jay-Z, even on his best days! Besides! If you want the southern crowd you need to get Lil Wayne on the track; we all see how great those... are... uh... moving on... On to the Next One (appropriate title) is one of the first tracks that made me sick. Yes, sick. Swizz Beatz didn't do it for me, and Jay's flow was kind of weak. Not his best track, not by a long shot. Then we go into Off That which made me actually agree with Bill O'Reilly (gasp away) in his insult towards Jay-Z. My biggest problem is that he's not utilizing Drake (aka Hip Hop's Latest Wonderboy aka The Best She's Ever Known aka Jimmy) for anything more than a hook, which you know is just wrong right now. At least A Star is Born features the new kid J. Cole. Now to Jay's credit I do love this song, I really love it, because J. Cole is nice and Jay-Z kind of takes the passenger seat to the kid. If this was his intent with the entire album I would be a bit kinder to it. When J. Cole comes out I'll be overjoyed.

Venus vs. Mars was about as effective in my eyes as Ja Rule's The Manual, and both are too presumptuous (like a glass of milk and Chuck Norris). Already Home, the track with the stoner KiD CuDi (see? he's back) is another one of my favorites (it's not all hate). It feels the most... it's almost as if this was the track that was done with no kind of thought, just feeling. I love it. That's two. Hate, a track that I hate, was a leftover from 808s and Heartbreak from what I understand, and it sounds like a leftover from Graduation because I can hear a resemblance to the atrocious Mos Def-assisted Drunk and Hot Girls (God damn you, Mos Def; you lucky you repented with The Ecstatic).

I have to give Reminder a special paragraph to itself. How cruel is it, you who is reading this, to pretty much do the musical equivalent to the MTV show Cribs? Remember the episode of The Boondocks where MTV Cribs came to Thugnificent's house? You know how real that was? He pretty much said, no, EXPLICITLY said that he was showing the world how great it was to be him and how fucked up it was to be anyone else. THAT'S WHAT THIS TRACK IS! It's a reminder that he's great and we're not. Fuck you, Jay-Z! Fuck you, your money, your wife... no, I'm leaving Beyonce out of this one... your cars, your hoes, your affair with Rihanna, fuck all of that!

Ahem... let me chill out a little bit. So Ambitious was... it was so-so, can't hate for real. The final track... the verdict from a lot of people is that its a bad track. Young Forever, despite being a cheap song, is actually one of the songs I'm feeling the most from the LP. Is it great? No. Good? I'll roll with that. Maybe I was just happy the album was over.

Now, anyone that reads this is probably going to say, "DiZ, you fucking idiot, you're a hater!" Yes, I do hate on Jay-Z, but at what point did I actually say I hated Jay-Z on a musical level? I don't. Even his albums that I hate are good in some capacity, though much less that those that I like. I hate In My Lifetime to the point of burning it with gasoline, matches and lemon juice, but dammit he had some powerful tracks on it. I hated Hard Knock Life with a passion, but dammit I love those singles. I hate Volume 3 but shit... actually I just straight hate Volume 3. Fuck that album. I hate the Blueprint 2 because it diminished Mr. Carter's lyrical genius with numerous guest appearances. Kingdom Come was just ass... a couple of good tracks but nothing breathtaking.

You know my biggest problems with Shawn "I should have retired several albums ago" Carter? He's like David Xanatos. You ever watch Gargoyles? Xanatos is the guy that brings the gargoyles back to life in a sense, breaking the curse and all. His biggest fear is death, or growing old, whatever. Jay-Z refuses to grow up. He said that 30 was the new 20. His ass needs to recognize that 30 is now and forever the present 30. Now he's pushing 40 and he's afraid that he'll no longer be relevant. Xanatos killed his own son after gaining immortality... in an alternate world... but that's beside the point. You don't gain immortality by putting out subpar material until you can't even sit up and have to do your music line by line (Curtis Mayfield reference). After countless references to himself being like Frank Sinatra he has to realize a couple of things about Sinatra. For one, Sinatra knew how to share the spotlight, something he didn't do properly with this album. Sinatra, Martin and Davis, Jr. ran the world in their lifetimes. For two, Sinatra knew when to slow it down. Jay-Z hasn't done such a thing. Lastly, Sinatra knew when to just sit down and engage in his other endeavors, which Jay-Z should have done a long time ago. He's rich, has bitches, has a wife, has a mistress, pretty much won financially and professionally against his one time enemy, has money, and even convinced people that 30 is the new 20. No, 30 is not the new 20 and Jay-Z needs to hang the mic up and let the new generation take over. When we have people already saying that Drake is one of the greatest rappers of all time we need NEW guys knocking these stupid fools down, not old legends. KRS does guest appearances. Kane does guest appearances. Jay-Z needs to go to this stage of hip hop, just like LL, just like E-40. Rappers have shelf lives, and Jay is pushing his. He's slowing down. Better to leave on a high note than stay when you could either hit or miss. That's my two cents of the whole Blueprint 3 thing. Call me a hater, I don't care, this is my review, not yours.

The DiZ Score: 3 out of 5

Rant: done.

The Nostalgic Gamer: Barkley's Shut Up and Jam

2009-09-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm the Nostalgic Gamer. I remember it so you don't have to. Heh, get the reference? If you don't then click on this: The Nostalgic Critic. The Nostalgic Critic is a guy with glasses that remembers old movies (most of them bad, some of them the epitome of evil because of the direction of one Uwe Boll) and does it in moderately lengthy videos, similar to Yahtzee. You don't know Yahtzee either? Fuck... okay, go here then, dumbass: Zero Punctuation. Differences lie in media outlet and time of the stuff reviewed. Me, I'm a fan of both, so I'm going to combine elements of both (which I kind of already do) and do it from a textual standpoint, inserting videos and pictures throughout to make a point. Sound good? Fantastic. That's the proper format for all preceding posts.

You know, I don't usually do sports. I'm not talking about football or basketball, I love those; I'm talking about football or basketball video games. Why? For that very reason above: if I really want to play football or basketball I can do it myself. On the occasions I DO play sports video games they either come with the system (recalling my Dreamcast) or they're so over-the-top that you couldn't (or shouldn't) do them in life (Blitz: The League). But this is actually a relatively recent phenomena in me, considering I only really started this in the early part of the new millennium. Before that I was playing NBA Live and Madden like everyone else.

The Madden thing... well, if I talked about that already then I talked about it already, I don't like EA Sports for a reason. NBA Live 96 was my favorite basketball game of all time, and I'm not just saying that because it was one of the first I played. I liked it because it was oddly unbalanced. Every time I used the Raptors I could never miss a three pointer. Believe me, I tried, but I never missed one. So I cheated, in a sense, and beat my friends mercilessly. Then, I got another basketball game.

Back in a time when games were 16 bit - and consequently the world made sense - there was a basketball player named Charles Barkley, the latest retired ball player to catch the political bug, that dominated the game. He was the face of the new basketball game known as "Shut Up and Jam", a 2-on-2 street tournament style game featuring a host of people with stats and funky names, exotic locales such as Watts and Brooklyn, and of course Sir Charles, the king of the rebound. There was basic stereotypical hip hop loops for music, Charles telling you to get the damn ball if it was just on the ground, and half of the blocked shots were goaltending violations. I loved it.

Let me tell you something: Barkley Shut Up and Jam had something most basketball games of the time didn't have: stunning realism combined with stunning unrealism. Do you play streetball? I did. There were no fouls or goaltending, no time limits, just playing the damn game until mama called you back for dinner. When you got hit there was nothing pretty about it; you hit the ground hard and you were lying there until you moved. You try to dunk you will get knocked the fuck down if you're a presumptuous little dipshit. You don't fly around the country to play; you go in the backyard or that court down the street. You have funny ass names and you wear your hat backwards. That's streetball. Until NBA Street came along (kinda...) this kind of beautiful game was one in a million, and I still play it today, yes, I still play it, and you know why? Because its fun, like Mystical Ninja (you gotta have an acquired taste for that one...), and until there's another game of that caliber created I give the big middle finger to all other streetball games!

Granted... you may be thinking, "DiZ, you ill informed aphrodisiac, wasn't there a sequel to that game?" To you I respond with this question: you should be ashamed of yourself. We will NOT discuss that awful ass game here... not for many days... DiZ, out!

The DiZ Reviews: Chef Raekwon's "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... Part 2"

2009-09-06T18:27:00.002-07:00

Here's some knowledge about DiZ: he hates rap sequels. It's a harsh statement, but consider the rap sequels that exist. You have Stillmatic, Illmatic's sequel. You have the Blueprint 2 vs. Blueprint 1. Webbie’s Savage Life vs. Savage Life 2… I know, I’m ashamed I remember those pieces of shit too. Granted, Stillmatic and Blueprint 2 are good albums, but the former doesn't nearly reach the bar of its predecessor and Blueprint 2... well, I always said that for every bad album Jay-Z did he owed me two cars, and I'm debating whether or not he owes me four because Blueprint 2 is a double disc. Not to mention Blueprint 3 is coming out soon (just finished listening to it and I'm mad that I can't hate on it like I wanted, go figure). And we're not even going to TALK about those aforementioned albums that shall not be named ever again... So how do you think I originally felt when I even heard that Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Part 2 was coming out? Indifferent. I love Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, hailing it as a classic, so a sequel can only be slightly worse or significantly worse. That's being mean: it is not likely to be (nearly) as good as the predecessor.

That's me rambling. The Wu-Tang Clan is one of my favorite stables in rap and all its members have impressed me with classic or near classic albums (not counting the various affiliates or satellites associated with the Wu) and Raekwon's opus is probably my second favorite, only after Liquid Swords. That means I've listened to Only Built 4 Cuban Linx religiously in some cases, and I consider some of its tracks perfect. At the same time, there's a change I notice between the two LPs. This change in style is one of the many pleasures of the new album, and we're gonna jump into the review right now so I don't get any more distracted.

Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Part 2 starts off on a high note by continuing exactly where the first left off, with Papa Wu dropping some serious knowledge over a soulful beat before a section of the Wu tears up a J. Dilla (rest in peace) beat with House of Flying Daggers. The emcees don't disappoint and display that same beautifully vicious lyricism that the Wu Tang is known for. As a matter of fact this album as a whole is essentially a Wu Tang album, with every clan member dropping nice verse after nice verse without breaking a sweat; through all of this, however, Raekwon rarely gives up the spotlight, always shining with his partner-in-crime Ghostface Killa. Raekwon enlists a number of producers this time around, not simply relying on the RZA’s masterful productions; in truth he only calls on the RZA for three beats: Black Mozart, New Wu, and Fat Lady Sings. Of the three Black Mozart sounds just like it implies. RZA doesn’t fail to deliver and neither do the lyrical slaughterers. Other production comes from Erick Sermon, Marley Marl, the Alchemist, even Dr. “I’ll drop my album when I get around to it” Dre.

Raekwon maintains his status as the chef throughout the album, never directly leaving the topic of bagging that white too much unless bearing his soul or exerting crazy dominance over competition. To this degree Ason Jones might just be the best track on the album, a tribute and musical memorial to the late great Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

On the occasions (loose meaning) that Raekwon calls on a guest verse (see? I’m referring to those outside of the Wu conglomerate) they rarely fail. Jadakiss and Styles P grace Broken Safety appropriately, not reaching Raekwon’s level (no surprise) but complimenting him well enough. Beanie Sigel stands toe-to-toe with the Chef on the Icewater produced, Blue Raspberry assisted Have Mercy, delivering a verse that only shows once again why he’s a possible legend in the making.

Then again, I said rarely in the previous paragraph. The Dr. Dre produced Catalina is a good enough track, but Lyfe Jennings may not have been the right voice for the hook; Anthony Hamilton would have fit the feel a bit better. Busta Rhymes’ spot on About Me is far from bad, but… there is no but; it’s a good track. Busta didn’t fail to deliver at all, showing once again why he is a possible legend in the making as well.

The album follows the similar concept to the first, coming to a close with the fantastic Mean Streets and the inspiring Kiss the Ring (I don’t know who the hell Scram Jones is but someone get him to do ALL of OB4CL 3). The crack, the bagging, the struggles, the introspection, the overall greatness of the first album IS apparent in the second installment. Here’s the big question: is it as good as Only Built for Cuban Linx? Answer…

OH HELL NAW! Sorry for being so mean about it but we have to be honest. The expanded track listing of OB4CL Pt. 2 alone makes for the mistake of unnecessary filler, even if it is good filler, and Raekwon, who defied my standards of what makes a classic back in 1995, didn’t strike twice. Some of these standards include:

You can’t have a classic with too many guests. I gave Raekwon the classic status before because the guests were the Wu Tang clan, and they work almost like a unit so I can’t fault him for those guest appearances. Alternatively, those non-Wu guest appearances are almost orgasmic (Nas on Verbal Intercourse) and very few. OB4CL Pt. 2 doesn’t feature a lot of non-Wu guest appearances, but none of them can properly match up to the standard of Raekwon and the Wu.
You can’t have another classic rapping about the same shit. Okay, this one hasn’t really been broken because Raekwon is talking about the same shit on OB4CL 2 that he was on OB4CL 1, if only from a different perspective and from a more wisdomed approach. The intro from Papa Wu (let him and Common’s dad get together and do a poetry album; that would be sweet) was a great way to start it off but when you delve into familiar territory you’re bound to know where you’re going.
You can’t copy a formula, only follow it. There are blueprints (not the Jay-Z albums I steadily hate more and more) that a lot of albums follow, and when it comes to sequel albums they don’t usually follow the original blueprint. That usually leads to failure. OB4CL 2 actually does follow the blueprint to a degree though, so what happened?
You can’t have ONE introspective track about a/an A)fallen friend, B)female, or C)amazing event. You must have at least two. So I mentioned Ason Jones earlier, one of my favorite tracks on the album. I love the tributes to the Ol’ Dirty Chinese Restaurant (rest in peace) but just one? It’s lonely. You also have Kiss the Ring, the last track and my personal favorite. Imagine sitting in an old fashioned diner and proclaiming to everyone that you’ve just taken over Liberty City. That’s an amazing event. So you have two tracks, so it should be good, right? Not so much. They’re in odd places, those tracks. Kiss the Ring is in a good spot, a great way to epically end the LP, but Ason Jones shouldn’t of been the only track like it was. Leading to the last standard I’m going into…
You can’t be a rapper on R&B beats. This isn’t a complaint or anything, just something I’m throwing out. Remember Heaven and Hell? Another exception to the rule of my standards. OB4CL 2 didn’t really have any R&B beats, just some laid backs ones that worked out pretty well.

Woo, this is a hard one to review. I can’t say it’s as good as Cuban Linx 1, but it’s still a great album. I won’t lie; I came into listening to it knowing it wouldn’t be another classic, but I didn’t actually start to review the album until I got rid of that mentality. I knew it would be great but it exceeded my standards (regular standards, not classic standards (some of those standards are just ridiculous)). I’ve been waiting for a good solo Wu release for a minute and this (not counting GZA’s Pro Tools) is a great return to form. Is it a perfect 5 out of 5? Nope. Is it a 4? Nope.

DiZ Rating: 4.5 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: Kid Cudi's "Man on the Moon: The End of Day"

2009-09-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

Before this review, a message from me, the DiZ:
I'm back! Damn, I need to stop taking these long ass breaks in between posts. It'll kill what's left of my traffic! I'm working on another review right now too for Raekwon's latest effort, so stayed tuned for that, and my Shadow of the Colossus mega review will be up in due time. I'm out! BLEE!

I'll admit that I wasn't a fan of Kid Cudi until I saw him in concert, and I wasn't really a true fan until long after he made us wait forty minutes for his ass to come out. His performance was good, very good, but oddly enough Kanye West's special appearance is what sent us all over the edge. In any case, Kid Cudi is part of this new wave of hip hop artists, part of the lyrical renaissance taking place with such rappers as Blu, B.o.B., Mickey Factz, Wale, Asher Roth, Cory Gunz and Charles Hamilton (most of the XXL Freshman Class of 2009). He's also part of this new wave that's doing more and more singing along with rapping, a crazy combination I can't blame Kanye for despite wanting to. Go figure.

Kid Cudi is arguably the best to do this in the game right now. He doesn't try to sound like Luther Vandross when he sings and his eternal stoner persona makes for some interesting lyricism for the most part. Man on the Moon: The End of Day is an eclectic mix of his galactic high rapping and marijuana laced singing, often all at once. I dare say that this is one of the most eclectic albums in the world of hip hop since Outkast dropped an LP.

Okay... that's a bit much. You can see that I'm putting a lot on Kid Cudi's shoulders because I can see that he's truly a different artist in hip hop as opposed to half the niggas walking around now. He's not afraid to rap/sing about some crazy out-of-this-world shit and he doesn't shy away from the over-the-top misogynistic tracks that happen to plague the airwaves (at least his are fun to listen to no matter how sexist they make Common sound (yeah, I said it!)). With all that said, let's get into Kid Cudi's major label debut.

This is a true concept album: the LP is divided into five acts, each one having a little excerpt from the narrator, Common. I know I said he sounded sexist earlier but don't worry: he still does. He drops some Def Jam level poetry at the ends of select tracks as intros or outros to the acts. But he never steals Cudi's shine, only makes it better. In fact, right from the get go, with In My Dreams, you get a clue of why Cudi is THE neo-psychedelia rapper, rap/singing about his dreams and life. As a matter of fact, the better way to review this LP is to do it by acts. Let's try that, shall we?

Act 1: The End of the Day

Cudi uses this for his three track intro with Lonnie Lynn Jr's poetry following the first track. We go into Cudi's stoner lyricism and his unique brand of rapping. He combines the elements of singing with his rapping, so much where he appears to be talking more so than rapping, making his style pretty conversational at times. Imagine going to sleep; that's what these tracks feel like in a sense. No sense getting into the tracks, but they almost highlight the fact that Cudi is drifting into his dream land... or nightmare hell...

Act 2: Rise of the Night Terrors

Solo Dolo is a haunting way to start this act. It's perfect: slow and creepy, setting a stage for what seems like a true invasion of the dreamland this nigga is obviously inhabiting and smoking in. Heart of a Lion follows it, and it's almost like a declaration, an escape if you will. This act is something like an escape, trying to get free from the night terrors. Of the acts this is probably my favorite, because it fits the description of the title so well.

Act 3: Taking a Trip (How high is this guy...?)

Day n Nite and Sky Might Fall are fan favorites and some of the tracks that made us love (tolerate for me) Cudi because of their "trip like" quality. You know what I mean? It's kind of like these tracks ARE him walking down the corridors of his mind.

Act 4: Stuck

My least favorite act, but ironically enough it contains some of my favorite tracks. I suppose that's part of the point. Cudi changes up styles a little bit here, especially with his hit single Make Her Say, the nastiest track on the LP (remember I said Common was sexist up here? Here you go) is also the most out of place. It's not stoner rap, just braggadocios sex rap. Granted, it's a great track, but it's out of place, unless "Stuck" was meant to represent that.

Act 5: A New Beginning

Welcome to the end of the album, that's what I think Cudi was trying to tell me with the last two tracks. It was a fun ride and it came to a satisfying end. Cudi was flying away, going higher and higher until he was truly up up and away.

This is a sloppy review because its IMPOSSIBLE to properly review this album with words. You can use a number but a number alone doesn't mean shit. Kid Cudi has crafted THE stoner album of the year, maybe even next year, but that doesn't mean that it's perfect, not by a long shot. Kanye West's production (two tracks: Sky Might Fall and Make Her Say) is welcome but a little strangely placed, despite how well it fits into the grand scheme of things. Also, I'm not really feeling his definition of "rap". I'm not referring to his genre or anything, that's on point, but his half rapping/half singing style is a little lazy at times. Sometimes its straight singing, and while I can't knock the man for singing I can knock it for singing as much as he did.

The other problem comes with the territory of a concept album: if you slip up even once on a concept album there's a chance everything can just be confusing in the future, and Cudi doesn't slip up so much as just fall a little short at times, making the story a little confusing. Common narrates but since he's only around four or five times (excluding his guest verse) sometimes the story can get a little "pushed back" or irrelevant.

Another criticism is Cudi's biggest mistake and showing off all the good tracks already. The fan favorites and "accidental" singles are easily the best tracks on the album, overshadowing at least half of the effort with relative ease. Make Her Say, a true hit, is quite possibly the best track on the album and it overshadows most of it by not even keeping a similar sound to the rest of the album.

That leads to the final bad talk: Make Her Say. It's a great track, but it's just completely out of place on the album. It doesn't share the same feel as the rest of it, and while it's a welcome addition it's also a consistency substraction. Concept albums, like I said, thrive on an album long consistency that Make Her Say interrupted.

So what do I have to say about this album? Shit, I already done said it! What do I give this album on a scale of one to five? A four. That's difficult for me too because I wanted to give this album a higher score, but some minor oversight from previous circumstance keeps it from achieving the greatness I wanted it to have. Man on the Moon: The End of Day is a very impressive debut from a very impressive weed junkie. I'm hoping that his next LP is just as good, no, even better than this one. Kid Cudi, good work.

DiZ Score: 4 out of 5

"Seven Pounds" Sucks!

2009-07-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

It ain't often I go back in time to hate on a movie, but I have to today. After going back in time and viewing a number of Phonte's "Movies in a Minute" videos my hatred for this cinematic fiasco came back at full force, as well as memories of lunatic debates I've had with my peers about the film.

Let me get the plot out of the way for those of you that haven't seen it. Will Smith's character is texting on a phone one night while driving and crashes. He kills everybody, literally. So, later in life he calls someone and tells them that he's committing suicide. He spends his life until his stupid suicide (I have a LOT of beef with his suicide; not that he committed it but how it was done) seeking reasonable hosts for his organs after he dies. He does, and sadly he has to involve Rosario Dawson into it. Everybody he finds (seven people to replace the seven he murdered) needs something, organ transplants or whatnot, so when it comes time to off himself Will Smith gets into a pool of ice cold water and -this is where I TOTALLY break out laughing- drops a jellyfish into the tub to kill himself. No lie, he kills himself with a motherfucking jellyfish. After wards his organs (preserved by the ice cold water) are given to the people and they live happy lives. Yay...

I have a LOT of problems with this movie, and only some of them come from my faith. Let's get that one out the way first. Will Smith's (technically Tim Thomas' (seriously, who wrote this bullshit?!)) "redemption though death" ideology is sure to offend a lot of religious faiths and the fact that audience (most of them, not me) got attached to the man only made his self-execution a very devastating event. Tears and wailing and "NO!!!!", most women and a small population of men were shedding tears of fear when they saw Tim Thomas (that name is terrible!) kill himself. For Christians like myself there is immediately a "He's going straight to Hell" thought in the mind (hence why I was laughing hysterically at Timmy's passing) and for other faiths, of which I am no expert, I'm sure there was the thought running through the head. A lot of people are going to claim that his emotional torment overwhelmed his common sense. I agree, because if he was smart he would have spent his life honoring their memory and doing everything he could to make ALL LIVES better, much like Will Smith does in life by just walking down the damn street!

That brings me to another point: Will Smith knows movies. What do I mean by that? He knows what the people want to see or what will make them pour money into theaters, much like Tyler Perry does. Will Smith knew that a sappy lost love story would attract women like Oprah at a Cold Stone Creamery. Will Smith knew that Rosario Dawson's presence would attract the men like the offer of a threesome with Halle Berry, Sanaa Lathan and Free (you'd have love for that). Most importantly, he knew that everyone would flock to the movie for the simple fact that he's Will Smith, and Will Smith equals movie magic, no matter how good (I Am Legend, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happyness) or how bad (Hancock, Hitch, Men in Black 2, Ali, Wild Wild West) or how mediocre (Independence Day, Enemy of the State) the piece of cinematography happens to be. I respect this skill of Will Smith's like I respect Soulja Boy's skill of knowing what will make him money.

I respect the power of love and responsibility, but Tim Thomas (that name...) did it, in my opinion, wrong. I've asked a lot of people this question: how would you have redeemed yourself if you were in Tim Tho... if you were in the shoes of the guy Will Smith played? To my (lack of) surprise, no one said they would do what Will Smith did. Excuse me, loyal, possible dick riding Will Smith fan, but in what way do you connect to this movie then? You like it from a technical point of view or a story point of view? I can respect it big time from a technical point of view, because I like camerawork. I like timing. I like characters. But I don't like the message this movie is coincidentally giving off. If I killed seven people in a car crash, I'd either be in jail, be dead from the wrath of a family member of one of the deceased, or spending my life atoning for what I've done, not bitching out and killing myself in some self pity moment.

Granted, I can't say I don't borderline see what he was thinking. He wanted to help people. Fair enough. I'm not mad at that. He killed himself to do it. No, that's not a good look, Smith. He gave away seven pounds of his flesh (eight if you assume he screwed Ms. Dawson one night) to save people. Very good intent, very bad method of doing so. Still, my greatest grievance with this piece of shit movie is his method of dying.

A jellyfish? Seriously? Look, I'm not advocate of suicide, not advocate of any kind of death outside of a natural one, but if you're going to kill yourself then for the love of God, at least do it less "Tony" than this. Poison yourself, shoot yourself, slit your wrist, drown yourself, but here this nigga go, in a tube of ice and water, and a pet jellyfish (no one keeps pet jellyfish) that stings him. Ain't this a bitch? I'm praying that the writer of this movie didn't get inspired by a man that actually killed himself in such an elaborate manner because then I feel a bit bad about laughing hysterically. If not, though, well...

Andre 3000, Meet Bioware: The Art of Storytellin' Part 5/2

2009-07-16T17:19:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm back again. Two posts in one day maybe, it's a burst of energy. Just a few minutes ago I posted my confusion about Black College Football Experience and now I'm moving on to new territory. The man on the left is Andre 3000 and the game to the right is Mass Effect. Both of them are candidates for the greatest of all time in their respective areas. Andre 3-Stacks has always been an eclectic lyricist from Atlanta sporting flawless rhymes and sporadic but brilliant verses on his own. Mass Effect is Bioware's flagship franchise game, away from the confines of Star Wars and George Lucas, but maintaining a space worthy theme. You know what would be sweet? If they added Sun Crushers into Mass Effect. It would be a total bloodbath full of oblivion, but it would be amazing nonetheless.

I bring those two up because I have to give them both credit where credit it due: masterful storytelling. This isn't about Andre 3000 so I won't put the spot light on him, but his storytelling is nearly unparalleled in hip hop, rivaled only by a few and even a few of them are slipping (*cough* Jay-Z *cough*), but Mass Effect, being an RPG, has mastered this art to another extent.

Quick show of hands: who has played the first Mass Effect? My right hand is up right now. Now it's down. There weren't many games the year it came out that I ordered to be delivered to me. Only the best are reserved for that... the best and those I can't afford to go out and get in person. I heard it was of Bioware, those behind Knights of the Old Republic, and played it. I had a heart attack. I'm one of the advocates of "Gaming is Art" so you give me a sexy sci-fi story with memorable characters and truly game affecting decisions and what do you have? One of the greatest stories in gaming.

My character was Sheppard, as all are. I can't remember his first name (it doesn't help that my Xbox is broken and I can't check) but he was a pure soldier. He wasn't tied down with the specifics of electronics and biotic warfare. He was a strategist and a weapon master, using pistols and shotguns, assault rifles and sniper rifles to the fullest, as well as grenades. Before the game he was a punk on the streets of Earth (Detroit I'm assuming) running with gangs until the military caught up with him and straightened him out. He did some stuff and gained a sparkling reputation, being chosen for a mission to a new colony planet. He didn't mess up but he was blamed for it. Then he was chosen for a new mission to save the galaxy with his crew, and even sparked up a romance with one of his crew mates, culminating with sexual intercourse following bouts of attraction and depression brought about by the death of a fellow friend. They saved the galaxy but left to do stuff, and by stuff I mean more saving. That's a terrible synopsis but it's the truth. The story make even sound a bit standard, but I left out a number of details, outside references and clever dialogue, not to mention the thresher maws. Oh, those thresher maws... glad they don't exist, that's all I can say.

What separates this story, however, is the sequel game, aptly titled Mass Effect 2. What's the story behind that one? So far I have no idea. I know that there's a new planet and that there are a few new features but I don't know the story. I saw the ship from the first game getting destroyed but I don't know the story. There is a skeleton tale in the game I'm sure, a basic outline, but outside of that you determine the story. You know how I mentioned Andre 3000 early on? He's a master storyteller. All of his guest verses are stories, be they greatly detailed or somewhat soupy. Example: take his verse from International Player's Anthem. It went...

So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see
Sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be
And I apologize if this message gets you down
Then I CC'd every girl that I'd see see round town and
I hate to see y'all frown but I'd rather see her smiling
Wetness all around me, true, but I'm no island
Peninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy
Give up all this pussy cat that's in my lap no lookin back
Spaceships dont come equipped with rear view mirrors
They dip as quick as they can
The atmosphere is now ripped
I'm so like a Pip, I'm glad its night
So the light from the sun would not burn me on my bum
When I shoot the moon high, jump the broom
Like a preemie out the womb
My partner yellin "Too soon! Don't do it! Reconsider!
Read some litera - ture on the subject
You sure? Fuck it
You know we got your back like chiroprac - tic
If that bitch do you dirty
we'll wipe her ass out as in detergent
Now hurry hurry, go on to the altar
I know you ain't a pimp but pimp remember what I taught ya
Keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart
Aye, keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart
Man, these girls is smart, 3 stacks, these girls is smart
Play your part
Play your part

That's a story in itself. It gave the entire song a storyline. Mass Effect 2 looks to do the same. Andre's verse laid down a skeleton and let the listener go from there. Bioware laid a skeleton with the first game and now you have to make your own destiny in the new installment. This is a big deal for me because Sheppard can die for good, and Mass Effect is a trilogy.

What? Lose your main character in the game he or she is the main character or? DiZ, you orgasmic chocolate chip, perish the thought! No, I will not. There's a chance he can die. Every choice you make has a consequence and a reward. Do I know anything about these choices? No, but I'm guessing that pushing a man out of a window and thirty stories onto pure concrete isn't a nice thing to do in any respect at all.

The purpose of this post was to give props to the masterful storytelling of Bioware, creators of such games as KOTOR and Jade Empire. Keep up the good work and I'll be sure to be getting Mass Effect 2 when it comes out, word. Peace.

Varied Confusion: Black College Football Experience

2009-07-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

I have no prior bias to any game I play, but I can't help but force myself to keep from that bias when it comes to Nerjyzed Entertainment's past and future debut Black College Football Experience, the first game from their company and the first game to ever feature nothing but HBCUs. As the title goes this is a football game. It combines, at least now it does, football and Rock Band, in that the game before and after half time is pure football and the half time is... a rhythm based mini game compatible with the Rock Band drum peripheral, a nod to the tradition of HBCU bands doing performances at half time. I've seen gameplay footage from both the game released in 2007 and the one to be released on Tuesday and my first impression is a big resounding, "It's aight..."

Let's get this out the way early: I have low expectations for many, maybe even all at this point, football games. When Electronic Arts took the license for themselves I said that it was time to witness the slow descent of football games, and in my opinion I've been dead right. I've seen a decline in quality in the Madden games and I've seen no real change in the NCAA Football games. That 2K games football title featuring all legends and false characters was okay, but it wasn't ESPN NFL 2K5. Midway's Blitz series is always good for a laugh, but its gameplay isn't stern enough and it doesn't come out every year like the EA monsters do. That's good if only because it means they don't recreate the same game each year, but that's just a gripe of mine. Anyway, I saw the gameplay for Black College Football Experience from 2007 and I said, "It's aight..." It looks functional and has a bit of a "Mr. Magoo" visual feel to it (the main attraction looks well enough but the secondary details themselves are lacking, especially the crowd) but that's no reason to down a game. After all, 2K5 did the same... well, Madden did that and... nope, on second thought they didn't.
A big selling point appears to be Doug Williams and the half time mini game. Personally I have no idea who Doug Williams is, but I'm assuming he's a professional (current or retired) that went to an HBCU. I respect that. I suspect the target audience will too. The mini game is an interesting feature too, something I haven't been able to even convince a permanent fault with outside of multiple controls for a single exhibition game, but that's just a pet peeve. Basically it's like the movie Drumline, without the bad acting of Nick Cannon, Leonard Roberts, Orlando Jones, Jason Weaver... you see where I'm going with this. You hit the drum kit in tune with the thing on the screen. What's my big deal with it? The Rock Band drum instrument goes in the color order: red, yellow, blue, green. The game goes: blue, green, yellow, red. Seems like a purely aesthetic thing, right? Maybe not. It's a simple change I'm sure, but I'll let time determine how all that works out. It'll kind of suck doing that kind of mini game on a standard controller.

[Quick sidebar: if I seem a little pissed off right now it's because my Xbox has been out of commission for more than a month now and it has me pretty upset, especially with what I've seen of Mass Effect 2. I'll be touching on that game in a little while myself. Whatever...]

I haven't yet touched on why this post is called "Varied Confusion". When I first heard about this game I said, "Let's hear the racist comments." Of course, those are what I saw. I guess I can kind of anticipate how some people are thinking, but I don't know exactly how to feel about the game in and of itself. On one hand I'm happy that there's a tribute to the black college football experience. Being a student of now two HBCUs and a predominantly black high school I can say that going to a football game is indeed an experience. Then again, having no other kind of college football experience to compare it to I can't say how necessary a game like this is.

Necessity is something I've been on lately. My latest foray into it was with a rapper named Edo G. He did a song in the 90s with Da Bulldogs called "Be a Father to Your Child" and I couldn't help but acknowledge how necessary this song is. The conflict comes with the fact that this song shouldn't have to be necessary. That's why I'm confused with this game. Yes, this game is a tribute to a culture a lot of people will never experience, but that's part of the discrepancy to me: aren't games a method of reaching people of all kinds? Maybe not, but the goal of this game is to appeal to the HBCU crowd. How many HBCU students are going to buy a game they can pretty much watch every week in the fall semester? How many football players for schools like Morehouse or Hampton are inclined to buy a game that showcases them in a generic light (generic meaning no specific mention to specific players outside of Doug Williams, not a crack at the game I have yet to play) and why? If I played football at Morehouse when I was there I would have bought this game only for the purpose of a grudge with another school (probably Tuskegee).

To this same token, however, if I'm following this logic, then the necessity of any kind of college football game is unnecessary. I don't like college football games because A)they all owned by EA and B)EA clones Madden and makes a killing. It's a shameful reason I admit but the third reason was that my college, which was Morehouse, wasn't on them before. Now Morehouse is on an HBCU football game (a moot point since now I'm at Clark Atlanta University) and I can't express total joy because I'm struck with hundreds of questions. I can't put down everything now but I'll be sure to when I give the game a play through. Catch ya later.

[P.S. -- I found out who Doug Williams is. To date he's the only African American quarterback to win a Super Bowl. That's significant and all I guess, but shit... okay, he is kind of a big deal. Super Bowl MVP and he broke a few records. I tip my hat to you, Doug Williams.]

The DiZ Reviews: Maxwell's BLACKsummers'night

2009-07-10T18:20:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine put it rather well when he said that the Holy Trinity of Neo-Soul (D'Angelo, Maxwell and Erykah Badu (I want to say Son, Holy Spirit and Father respectively but don't quote me)) was again in effect when Maxwell's new single, Pretty Wings, dropped. I find myself both agreeing and disagreeing, if only because I think the "divinity" of neo-soul includes the "Prince on ecstasy" voiced Bilal. Regardless, in his review he gave this album a 4 out of 5, citing its length as the main, maybe even sole, reason he didn't give the album a perfect 5. It's not my style to take anyone's word outside of my own when it comes to music so I went to the store and bought the CD (a MAJOR sign of respect from me) and gave it a couple of listens. My assessment? Well...

Maxwell has always been my third favorite neo-soul singer, falling after Bilal at the number two spot and Erykah Badu as the queen for reasons going far beyond the realm of music. He had me sold and nearly claimed the number two spot with the song "Fortunate", off of the Life soundtrack. That song still receives a lot of replay in my musical profiles. I didn't really get into his previous work but I was mad impressed with what I stumbled across. He was always mysterious, considering he wrote his own song and didn't let R. Kelly do it (talking about Fortunate again) and his lyrics bordered between salt-of-the-earth and edge-of-the-galaxy, and sometimes you didn't know just what the hell he was talking about. To me, then and now, that was the essence of neo-soul: multiple meanings in the most lunatic of songs, poetry over soulful beats, courtly love in a desirable manner. The Soulquarians were/are pure neo-soul. Maxwell wasn't a part of that. That's why I'm not as mad as I could be that BLACKsummers'night is disappointing as a neo-soul album.

Hear me out. On a whole I love this album, not as much as I love something like Baduizm or 1st Born Second, but the distinction between those two to this is that those two are neo-soul; BLACKsummers'night is R&B. Maxwell comes out the gate with the guitar-laced Bad Habits and croons about the hardest parts of a relationship and drifts right into Cold, the story about the cold blooded woman we all know. Pretty Wings, my new second favorite Maxwell song, is the same old subject matter but he puts a twist on it and does the song so well I can forgive it. It's just a great song, no more or less.

Help Somebody is interesting in that it's more along the lines of What's Going On? Marvin Gaye in its meaning. Stop the World shares in that distinction too, though its meaning is a little more divided and Maxwell comes across as a little braggadocios. Love You and Fistful of Tears are accidental nods to Keith Sweat; Maxwell isn't exactly begging but he is pleading rather strongly, apologizing to a girl and working towards a second chance. Playing Possum, more so because of the band than the lyrics themselves, hold the silver medal in songs on the album because of how masterfully the trumpet is played. Otherwise he's still in Keith Sweat mode.

The last track is a serious break from the norm; Phoenix Rise is a pure instrumental, a chance for Maxwell's ingenious band to shine. It's a pleasant way to end the album, although the song sounds a bit too electric in the beginning and feels too New Jack Swing for my R&B or neo-soul tastes throughout, but it's still nice.

It sounds like I'm just griping about the album and not giving it any props whatsoever. I give this album a 3.85 out of 5 on a scale of 1 to 5 for two reasons. The first reason is the driving force behind the music, the band. I have no idea who Maxwell tapped for this project (I'd know if I had the CD case nearby but I don't feel like going to the car this late) but on every song they hit it out of the park. It was first notable on Pretty Wings but they really shine, alongside Maxwell's voice that is (Phoenix Rise is their time to do it solo and they do it well) is Fistful of Tears. They aren't just a good match for Maxwell's voice; they're a nearly flawless match.

Reason two for the score is the shift. I said earlier that this wasn't neo-soul; it was R&B. As poetic as Maxwell is the band he can attribute so much positive influence to keeps the sound very R&B and even occasionally electronic. Maxwell himself doesn't vary up his subject matter enough to break the mold exponentially and even if you break down the genres this album falls into (neo-soul, R&B and "funk") its still a bit discombobulated.

When I first heard about the band behind Maxwell's newest venture I thought about my favorite album of all time, Hot Buttered Soul by Isaac Hayes and his band. I say Issac Hayes and his band because they own that album just as much Isaac Hayes did. While it was only four tracks long the band took over 80% of the first track, 80% of the second, 15% of the fourth and they were in total sync, the band and the late great Mr. Hayes, on the epic final track. They were in perfect sync the entire way but when I heard BLACKsummers'night I expected something along the same lines. This is not a criticism so much as an expectation. If anything it bumped my score up from 3.5 to 3.85 because BLACKsummers'night is part one of a trilogy and I have a feeling that blackSUMMERS'night is going to be more of what I wanted and blacksummers'NIGHT will be the new Hot Buttered Soul. I know I'm aiming a bit high here and putting a bit of pressure on Maxwell but he's been pushing for that number two spot of my top neo-soul singers list since Fortunate and by all accounts this LP sound have done the deed.

While he won't dethrone Erykah Badu's fine ass anytime soon he's still carrying the bronze in my book and that's adequate. This album is good, real good, but he switched it up a little too much with a little too much warning. I can't complain, however, because this is the best R&B album I've heard in a long time. I can't wait until next year's blackSUMMERS'night so I can enjoy yet another dose of good music from what my friend calls "part of the Neo-Soul Holy Trinity."

Rating: 3.85 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: Up

2009-06-15T09:23:00.001-07:00

Well, what can we say about the film company known as Pixar? We can say they have a lock on the 3D CGI film market. We can say they have something of a formula for good movies down. We can say that since Shrek came out they've been on a roll, gathering no moss and not slowing down. In fact, with Toy Story 3 around the corner, it could be said that they're ahead of many film companies. As a matter of fact, I'll say that this movie I'm reviewing today is arguably my favorite CGI movie ever. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, will take away the whimsical joy I get when I watch Spirited Away, but that's for another review.

Yes, Pixar can say they have a lot, but after this movie they can also say that have Edward Asner. If you don't know Edward Asner he's a legendary actor and voice actor. For the more modern crowd you may remember him as the voice for The Boondocks rich man Ed Wuncler, Sr. He's the stocky bald guy that befriends Robert Free-Man, funds Robert's death dealing restaurant, and turns Tom's daughter into a slave. For the older folk you may remember him as Lou Grant, of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and the spin off featuring his character's name. Me, I remember him best as Cosgrove from the short lived Freakazoid! And now this movie...

Up is a movie about an old man that wants to be an adventurer. It was his dream from being a kid, and luckily this dream was shared by a young girl he would soon encounter. They'd share similar dreams and get married, how nice. To say anymore would ruin the movie a bit. So on to the main plot. The old man flies to South America with his house, suspended by thousands of balloons, and accidentally has a stowaway. They reach their destination, almost hit the mark but miss it by a few miles, and start the journey. He comes the bird, then the talking dog, and finally the main antagonist. See, movies are hard to review because you can't go into the plot while reviewing it, but that's a bit crucial to the whole thing, don't you think? Hmm? To summerize the feel of the story is... impossible. You're taken back, WAY back, to when you were a little kid and wanted to explore everything. You wanted to fly and dig to the center of the earth and back and go back so you could reach China. The whole spirit of the movie keeps you there, with this theme of adventure. You're never too old to go on an adventure.

CGI has gotten to be pretty popular nowadays, and Up uses that CGI to a brilliant measure. The cartoonish humans combined with the gorgeous backdrops is a beuatiful thing. I particularly like the dogs. They combined the sounds and the visual imagery the best. Before I get into the sound I want to go into my favorite character: Dug. He's a golden retriever with, like all dogs in the film, a collar that translates his thoughts into words. He is priceless, that is all. Every line of his is pure gold and I even shed a tear at one line. He said: "I hid under the porch because I love you." That was... *sniff* excuse me, I need a moment...

I want the soundtrack to this film. I can't for the life of me remember too many of the songs playing throughout but that's a gift and a curse. A curse because you can't remember what was playing, but a gift because it blended in so well with the overall story that it was a perfect fit. You have the cheesy orchestral inspirational pieces mind you, but in this movie they aren't just good; they're necessary, and they occur at the perfect times.

Let me go back to Ed Asner for a bit. His voice is perfect for the old man. I know he seems like he's mean and ornery in the previews and commercials, but he's actually just lonely. That's part of the story once again, I won't spoil it, but everything plays a role in his development from a lonely old man to an adventurous, kind old man. And he succeeds. What does that mean? Watch and find out.

Putting a score on a movie like this is kind of weird for me. I had a feeling going into the theater (yeah, I paid 8 bucks to watch this movie; passed up a blowjob and some booty for it too) that I was going to love this movie and I did, but there was no bias before hand, just a desire. If I had any criticisms it would be the brevity of the movie and the fact that Pixar is pushing a few boundaries now with life and death, which isn't a surprise move so much as that Disney was attached to it this time. Otherwise this film is the best thing I've seen this year, animated or life action. There's only one thing to give this gem:

DiZ Rating; 5 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: The Sims 3

2009-06-08T16:11:00.001-07:00

As humans we tend to want to be God. You know what I mean? We want total control over things, everything, and we want the sadistic, narcissistic pleasure of being able to toy with the lives of others. Some might call it slavery. Some might call it a violation of free will. I have to call it the nature of man, and in the case of games I call it the current trend.

You may not know me too well but something I do is play games on a huge scale. I don't just play for my enjoyment (though that is undoubtedly the main reason) but I also play because I study games. Video games are, in a sense, like music in terms of culture. They can convey a powerful aspect of a people or a society. Take Fable and it's sequel and you'll see various aspects of the English (British) culture. Take True Crime: Streets of LA or it's sequel and you see many aspects of the gritty stereotype of police in the largest cities of the United States. What I've noticed a bit more is that its more overt in Japan, I'm assuming because a lot of video game (electronic) commerce takes place in that great nation. Games have a huge influence there and there's literally a game for everyone, from the anime addicts (a host of games featuring otaku wet dreams and crossovers from shows we'll never hear about in the states in a board game fashion, to name a few) to carnal pleasure simulators (the company Illusion seems to have a lock on the 3D aspect of this genre; a number of others in the 2D department) and everything in between. We will never see the same kind of gaming market in the United States, but the variety is expanding through the world.

Will Wright has a lot of fame. Why? For one he created The Sims. Any gamer who hasn't heard of this series has been living under a rock. I won't call it the first "life simulation" game because even MY knowledge of games isn't that strong, but I can call it the most popular (outside of those carnal pleasure ones in Japan; the Artificial Girl series is pretty big I hear) in the world. I also think it's interesting that Will Wright creates these games, but only slightly. He's an atheist that exhibits a mighty large number of elements of "free" will (something I go through myself) with his games. That control over human life is what makes the Sims such a beautiful series.

We were all enchanted with the first one and the second one made us jizz in our pants. So how does the third one stack up? Well that depends. If this is your first juncture into the Sims series then it's not just going to appear good; it's going to appear so real. Take control of everything, from sleep patterns to work patterns to bathroom visits and cleanliness to shower time tinkering and jogging around. You'll love the parallels to your everyday life and you'll hate them at the same time. If this isn't your first Sims then you'll probably say, "It's better... but that's about it."

It's not really hard to review a game like this. The graphics are nice. The sounds are good. You get immersed into the game because of The Wire kind of feel to the sound. In The Wire all sound was organic, minus what was coming from a stereo. That's what made it so great... one of the reasons. Convenience is there when appropriate (a cab from out of nowhere is great and all) and the upgrades decrease the realism in exchange for some serious fun. Hell, even the jobs are realistic: pay you piss poor money for the equivalent to hours upon hours of stress. You get over it by getting your rocks off, preferably due to a female. Have kids and eventually your sim DIES miserably (no, it can be peaceful) and his kids carry on the legacy. Blah blah blah, yak yak yak, dribble dribble dribble. A lot of games have been trying to pack more realism into their titles (Grand Theft Auto 4 for example) and this one works with only keeps in when necessary.

Okay, graphically, audio wise, replay wise, this game is a keeper, a true PC/Mac/Linux(?) classic. Why? Because it proves that real life can be fun in a false capacity... so long as you don't live an exact life of a Sim... but even that can be funny if you put in a cheat code... the game, not real life. Let me explain my Sim's life so far. He's Tripp Mims, an aspiring rock star that has cornrows because he "doesn't want to be confused with hippies". He bought a house he just barely had the money for and spent the first week of his life in the new city eating 6 dollar pancakes in his bathtub. He found a job at the local theater on his first day and convinced a woman to pretty much fall in love with him in that same day. After two more weeks he finally got enough money to afford a bed and earned a single promotion after stressful days. Then he learned how to slack off at work and get paid as if he was working his ass off. When this happened he bought his guitar, finally, and spent three more weeks eating pancakes and mac & cheese before finally going to the grocery store. His house was a mess because he rarely picked up the newspapers outside and every other day either his sink or his cheap black and white TV broke. He invited that girl over once and tried with all his might to get her to woohoo with him, but because it was so ealry in the morning she either left and went home or just slept. His life sucked...

ALAS! Then he started to miraculously get 50,000 every few minutes... he bought thousands of dollars of things and upped the property value of his house to about six, seven times what he paid for it and moved to a better house on the other side of town. After adding a couple of nice touches (including a snazzy beverage maker) he invited that girl over again and they make woohoo about thirty times in a row. After their familiar relations he tried for a baby fifteen times and smiled when she had morning sickness. He smiled when he was robbed and he smiled when he bought a jet for his backyard and smiled even wider when he bought a military watch tower and a windmill. After getting off from work a little while later he was informed of his son's birth and met with his girlfriend halfway on the way home to see his baby, and changed his diaper on the street. He hasn't seen either one of them yet, but he has learned how to play a couple of new songs on his guitar. Now, isn't virtual life fun?

Rating: 5 out of 5

The DiZ Reviews: Mos Def's The Ecstatic (Unedited Full Version)

2009-06-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

If Mos Def’s first outing, Black on Both Sides, was any better then he would be in the exact same boat that Nas is in now. That’s to say he’d be afflicted with the eternal sophomore jinx. Everyone is mad at Nas for never meeting the critical acclaim of Illmatic, but he really can’t help it at this point, or ever. Mos is in a similar boat; Black on Both Sides is considered a classic for good reason. Not many rappers combine peerless lyricism with socio-political tracks, jazzy vibes and gluteus maximum tributes, and even fewer can do it whether rapping or singing. See, Mos Def is an interesting case because BoBS was kind of his second album (first was with Talib Kweli as half of Black Star, an even better album in my humble peerless opinion) and when he said The New Danger was his next album people put him on a pedestal. Then they heard the album. The immediate reaction, a resounding “Ewww….”

Don’t get it twisted though; The New Danger was NOT a bad album. If anything, it was a boat change. If Mos Def was (is) on the same sort of path as Nas then The New Danger was a detour into the channels of Common territory. Like Electric Circus, the album was something of an experiment, sans the influence of a neo-soul goddess. Fusing elements of rock and rap and metal he crafted a decent album (B- at the best) that was booed like a marijuana-addicted rehab patient because it was too drastic a change from the base he established with BoBS. Did this deter the Chuck Berry of Rap? I want to say it did, because his next effort was the poorly publicized and critically canned True Magic. I know sometimes an artist has to put something out because of A&R demands (Nas, Nastradamus) or sometimes the rapper wants to do something new and fails miserably (Common, Universal Mind Control) but True Magic was bad nearly all around. There were a couple of standout tracks; scratch that, there was ONE standout track that was saved for the album. To be mean I’ll leave that for you to listen to yourself.

For three years we’ve waited for Mos Def to do something musical again. His acting career has been on a high lately (Cadillac Records; Be Kind Rewind) and he’s been pretty vocal in the world of politics and conspiracy theories, but musically, what’s he been up to lately? Aside from a few Youtube videos where he’s hinting at new shit or freestyling while drunk or just talking introspective like he always seems to do (and yet he’ll still marry a woman he’s only known for a couple of days) or about how nothing rhymes with orange… you get the irony? Until you give The Ecstatic, Mos Def’s true and powerful return to prominence, a good listen, you may not realize that Dante Smith brought us The Ecstatic long before it hit stores. If you still don’t get the irony you will when you listen to the LP.

In a return to form, Mos starts out with a standard intro (Supermagic) with a few lines, a quote I’m assuming, from who knows who (I want to say Malcolm X) and suddenly the Boogeyman busts out the gate with his crazy brand of lyrical genius, declaring that he’s back (been back for about a year if you see the irony). He goes from there right into Twilite Speedball, switching from his somewhat swift flow to a slower pace as his words perfectly compliment the tuba-laced bass line. From here Def drops down to Auditorium, the first of three guest featured songs. With the help of the legendary Slick Rick and the production of Madlib the two spit some pseudo stream of consciousness rhymes that make just as much sense as they don’t. There’s a definite reasoning behind this track, but it almost gets lost as the combination of the beat and the two legendary emcees puts the listener into a dreamlike state.

Wahid is a familiar track, lyrically at least. The second Madlib production puts yet another masterful beat behind Mos Def’s more DOOM-like flow, and considering the chemistry of Madvillainy it’s no wonder this track works so well. Drifting from Madlib for a moment to the more “soul” vibe of Preservation’s musical methodology, the Mighty Mos goes on a couple of lyrical warm-ups (exhibitions trump these but these are still better than your favorite rapper’s best verse) with Priority and Quite Dog Bite Hard. Next is the first single from the album, Life in Marvelous Times. This track had to grow on me a little bit but I’m feeling it. The beat just feels out of place in comparison to the tracks that came before it, but it sets up the rest of the album at the same time. Otherwise it’s another Mos Def lyrical warm-up (exhibitions are rare in Mos). Mr. Flash is a weird cat, as shown with the next track The Embassy, which has a “Middle Eastern” feel to it halfway through (something else I get a feel of through the LP) and, of course, Mos Def blesses the beat with his words.

No Hay Nada Mas… don’t know how to call this one. He’s either speaking Spanish or doing some scat rapping, and I am an expert in neither. Chill beat behind it, and it’s a welcome sort of intermission for the remainder of the album. I’ll be sure to do some serious translating (or I’ll pay someone to do it for me) in the near future. Otherwise I like this track, if only because it breaks the path of the album even more. Pistola is the ever-popular “love” song that every rapper has to do, but leave it to Black Dante to put a spin on it; and he does. Is he talking about the gun or the woman?

Pretty Danger is my favorite solo track off of the album because of the history I see of it. It sounds like a drunken Mos Def freestyle (which usually turns out brilliant) and the beat behind it makes it sound… inorganic. Combining the natural flow and the inorganic beat sounds like an uneven combination, but the fact that they don’t seem to meld as one, at least to me, is one of the strengths behind it. Workers Comp addresses the recession a little bit, an expected move considering Mos Def’s socio-political wordplay. Revelations, the last of the Madlib productions, is like a Saturday morning cartoon: fun to observe and over the top. The track isn’t breathtaking but the xylophones of the beat awaken feelings of nostalgia.

I thought Roses was the full version of Flowers, a video Mos Def did as a promo for this LP a while back, but while the Georgia Anne Muldrow assisted track is not Flowers arguably the most sincere track on the album. I love it the most because of the beauty of it but I don’t like that it takes forever for Mos to start spitting on it. When he does, however, he more than makes up for his delay. The short verse is a lyrical exhibition, a rarity in Mos case because his bar for such things is so high. This goes into the fleeting but exquisite dream track of History, a reunion of Mos Def and Talib Kweli (Black Star) and production from the late great James Dewitt Yancey, J. Dilla. History has the capacity to be the best track on the album if only because of how eargasmic it is to hear Black Star trade verses once again. The title says it all really. The album closes with the most recent single, Casa Bey, where Mos Def goes on one more lyrical free-for-all before coming to a close. The Ecstatic is a great album, wonderful, but how does it stack up to the others? Well it is better than True Magic but what isn’t? It is superior to The New Danger too, but does it touch Black on Both Sides? No. Why? For a number of reasons.

When I first saw the track listing for The Ecstatic I started to draw comparisons to Madvillain’s Madvillainy. Most of the tracks are rather short and the stream of consciousness wordplay complimenting the odd, sexy production, yes, sexy production. While I admit that Madvillainy is one of my favorite albums I have to admit that it’s not user-friendly for the most mainstream crowd. The fact that it wasn’t so user-friendly is part of what made it great. For Mos it doesn’t work as well; that’s to say he isn’t quite as abstract as DOOM to pull off a feat like that. The format of the album is a bit off; it flows flawlessly between tracks as if it were one huge track but the eclectic nature of the production on this LP makes the flow purely physical in its flawlessness. Also, in a small complaint, where the hell are the singing tracks? Umi Says is probably one of the best tracks off of Black on Both Sides!

The biggest problem with the LP is the same one that Nas has with his discography, and it’s an unfair gripe, but Dante has to deal with the eternal sophomore jinx as well. All of his work will be compared to Black on Both Sides (if you’re really cruel you’ll compare it to Mos Def and Talib Kweli are Black Star) and to this day nothing has. The New Danger didn’t reach that prominence and True Magic was a total 180, but at the very least The Ecstatic is the closest Mos Def has gotten to the bar he set for himself way back when. If this is a taste of things to come from one of New York’s Thieves in the Night then he might be nearing that bar, but until then this album stands as the strongest effort since BoBS. It doesn’t achieve that same classic status, but if this is the road Mos Def is traveling now then he just might reach that status once again…

Rating: 4 out of 5

(P.S. – I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t the official release of The Ecstatic. If this was something of a precursor to the actual album I wouldn’t be surprised in the least. This is a great album, the best thing out of a legendary NY emcee in a while, but… I would use a video game reference but it would probably fly over some heads. Forget I said anything.)

The Re-Up

2009-06-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

This is a message to all living mortals... nah, just kidding (or am I?). Well, I haven't been posting too much on this blog, much to my own dismay, so I had to make a hard, necessary decision. Like Chairman Kaga of Iron Chef fame... I am... shutting down... my beloved Kitchen Stadium...

Wait, what? No, not Kitchen Stadium. Not shutting down either! Electronic Underworld, as I have come to accept, isn't wide enough. While a focus on games is good enough the fact that financial situations and the recession era are in full effect make a pure gaming site for someone like me a pipe dream. As I was widening my horizons I realized that I have seen more movies and listened to more albums than I have normally recently, and something registered in my head. It's all electronic; it's all digital.

So that's what this is about. I'm expanding the walls of Electronic Underworld to some opinions and maybe even some news stories about music, games and movies, and anything else that could fall into those categories. Hope you like the expansion.

The Bard Award: Games With Suberb Stories

2009-05-19T17:08:00.000-07:00

This is a new one. I haven't reviewed anything in a hot second, but I had a thought earlier today when I was clearing my computer of porn and music. I was going through all the games I have ever played in my head and said, "DiZ, how many stories in these games gave your digital self a stiffy?" I say several. Good stories in games are coming through more and more, and I can't complain. I'm a writer and I love good stories. When a game combines a good story with good gameplay and good graphics then you have a great game. That's why I'm so giddy over Chrono Cross. To say that that is a candidate for my favorite game of all time is a massive understatement; Chrono Cross is my favorite RPG ever, bar none. As for game, well, I can't say.

Still, a good story is required for a game like Chrono Cross. Why? It's an RPG. Role Playing Games need a good story to keep the game moving; what's the point of getting stronger if the characters forever stay in place? Square-Enix knows how essential a good story is for an RPG, hence the unprecedented success of the Final Fantasy series and all other games they've created. Even The Bouncer had a decent story; VERY farfetched, but at least it was applicable. Sion still one of my favorite video game characters of the PS2's reign.

Still, while RPG's are almost destined to have a good story (I know from experience that the "almost" is essential for this post) there aren't many other games that need that great story. Fighting games, for example, don't need such a thing. I've been trying to figure out what was going on in Street Fighter since it was eating away at quarters from millions worldwide in its initial days, and I'm just as confused now as I was nearly twenty years ago. In essence they are the only genre that can get away with a piss poor story too.

It's when stories excel, however, that the game can be elevated to a level of prominence. I don't think we give enough credit to the games that have great stories and little popularity. Peerless storytelling outside of an RPG is something that deserves the highest praise in gaming, I promise you. So this is just a little tribute to a few of the games that deserve that greatness.

Silent Hill 2

Why don't I like horror games too much? False horror. If something doesn't inspire fear in me for more than an hour or so then I can't call it horror. Edgar Allen Poe wrote scary things; his short story The Cask of Amontillado had me scared shitless for about three years. The story itself wasn't horribly scary, but the capacity for one human being to murder another human being in such an elaborate and terrifying manner IS horribly scary. I was scared to cross anyone for months for a fear that they would put me being a wall. I won't get too deep into the story (hypocritical, isn't it?) because I don't want to ruin it, but while I wasn't scared to the point of years of sleepless nights I was scared to the point of looking around the corner with a set of fake nunchuks in hand at all times from the time I started playing it to the time I stopped. Never finished it, have no intent to. Pyramid Head still haunts my dreams and Konami has proven that you don't need quick scares to inspire fear. Real fear comes from a feeling being totally alone... and demonic creatures raping manniquins.

I should have said the Silent Hill series for this, but Silent Hill 2 takes the cake for having the most memorable story. You will never forget it, nor will you talk about it unless the person you are talking to has completed the story. That is all.

Shadow of the Colossus

Shit... my favorite story outside of an RPG. You don't know the main character's name, you don't know what happened to the woman he's trying to revive. You have a sword, a bow and a horse, and you better get to work if you want to save the girl. This is a minimalist story at its finest. You have the bare minimums: a protagonist, a bunch of antagonists, an exposition, a resolution, one HELL of a climax, it's beautiful! What makes it so much better is that the story isn't bogged down by dialogue or speech; it's intensified by music that puts you in an immersible mood and wide open spaces that make you think that you ARE the main protagonist. In the end you'll be wondering three major things:

Was I the bad guy?
Did I do the right thing?
Why am I am (spoiler) now?

Dreamfall: The Longest Journey

Adventure games have great stories too. Dreamfall takes the cake as the best sci-fi story I have ever played outside of an RPG. You have a girl in the future (year unknown, can't be too far out) that is undeniably loveable, a girl in the past who is from the present future, and a guy in the past from the past. All of them intertwine and confuse the hell out of you. Aside from that you have a cast of characters that either make you happy or angry, never in between, and there's this constant sense that can only be described as, "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" I can't get into this one for real because it's a bit of a distant memory; not just that but I want to play the prequel to it before I give it more praise then I mean to. In any case the story kicks the hell out of some RPGs. I just wish I still had it... ah well.

Well, there's a little tribute. I'll be back at a later time. Peace y'all.

Apology

2009-03-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

Just stare at the kitten for a minute, loyal reader. Imagine that you're in this scene, looking at the kitten. Me, I'm the kitten. I'm Puss N Boots. This is me asking for forgiveness for slacking off on the blog. Can you forgive me? Pwwweeeeaaaassse?

Thanks! Aight, I'm back to the work, peace!

The DiZ Reviews: Street Fighter IV

2009-02-18T12:37:00.000-08:00

Remember what I said about not being bias about reviewing games? Well, in light of my unhealthy infatuation with the Street Fighter series, I need to get a few things out of the way beforehand. First: I love Chun-Li. I refuse to apologize for it. Whether 2D or 3D she gets my inner gamer aroused. Yes, I said aroused. Still, despite my love for the digital goddess, I will be completely unbiased. Two: I will not base this review on any previous or possible future Street Fighter titles. There will be no outside influence, just my personal experiences. Three: this game is fucking awesome.

Let me get it off my chest and say that its been a long time. I've loved Street Fighter since the World Championship days and its been 20 years (I'm 19, ironically enough) and when this was even announced I pulled a Lonely Island. It took me a little while to adjust to it and when I finally played it there was this feeling of nostalgia. Nostalgia, loyal reader, that's what you feel when you play this particular game. Nostalgia.

Let's get to the basics. Gameplay has always been the thing of beauty in Street Fighter. The old saying, "Easy to learn, hard to master" has been THE staple within in, along with the colorful cast of fighters. Keep it simple: three punch buttons and three kick buttons. Two buttons to throw, two buttons to focus, two buttons to fuck with the competition and taunt them. The formula is constructed for both the battle hardened veterans (that's me) and the raw recruits (new guys), so no one can claim to not get into the action. A new feature is the Focus Attack. Adding to the crazy style of the new masterpiece, Focus Attacks take the form of paralyzing ink. The move (activated by pressing both middle buttons simultaneously) can be done as an instant attack or charged up for a more showy and showstopping blow. The attack leaves a trail of ink from the source of the attack (fist, leg, head, monkey) and, at full charge, the move instantly stops the opponent in his or her tracks and knocks them to the ground. Not only that, but if absorbs the first attack from the opponent, adds the power to your own, and still inflicts damage. Ain't that something?

What's more is the new feature known as an Ultra Combo. Super Combos have been around in Street Fighter for a minute now. You attack the opponent or get beat up enough and the meter fills. When full you can unleash a character specific super attack that is guaranteed (if it connects) to inflict serious damage on the opponent. In this game the Super Combo meter serves that purpose as well as another. The Super Combo meter is broken up into four parts, and when all four are filled the Super Combo can be unleashed. So long as a part of the meter is full a Super Special Move can be activated. An upgraded Special Move, these are enhanced variations of the Special Moves characters have. For example, Ryu has the fireball. A Super Special Move hadoken is the flaming variety. There's even a light element of difficulty surrounding the new style because it requires you press all three punch or kick buttons simultaneously to activate one. That takes me to the Ultra Combos. Ultra Combos are initiated by the Revenge Guage, a small meter next to the Super Combo meter that fills as the character takes damage (hence the revenge aspect; the Super Combo fills from dishing out damage). When halfway full the character can perform his or her strongest attack, complete with theatrics and a fun show, if it hits. I like to refer to these as Desperation Attacks because of how you need to fill the meter. Usually the attacks follow the same activation button pattern as the Super Combo counterpart, only, like the enhanced special moves, they require the three punch or kick buttons pressed at the same time.

It seems like a lot to balance out, but that's where I'm headed now. This game is surprisingly well balanced. If we were to play against each other right now neither one of us could complain about who won because anyone was stronger or weaker. Faster characters usually hit lighter but compensate with speed. Slower characters are usually powerhouses. Every has a style that has unique strengths and weaknesses and none of them are anymore or less advantageous than the other. The best example I can use is when my friend and I played the game the other day (I know what day the post says but it's actually about a month later) and I was using Chun-Li as he was using Blanka. Chun-Li's speed caught him off guard but Blanka's electric charge caught me by surprise anytime I launched the offensive. The speed was somewhat equal but Chun-Li's habit of landing multiple hits and Blanka's habit of anti-air attacks and rolls made it a close round. I won, of course. Even Seth, the boss, though appearing to be the cheapest son of a bitch boss in a fighting game since Dead or Alive 4's Alpha-152 (yeah, I remember that bitch!) is essentially Shang Tsung (I remember him too!) with teleportation and crazy combos. He isn't the easiest person to battle and its a hard fight, but it's a boss battle, it's SUPPOSED to be more difficult than the rest (except for maybe the rival battle). That being said, on to the characters and graphics.

I was originally turned off by the blocky graphical style. I was taken back to the Street Fighter EX thing and a shiver went down my spine. Sidenote: EX wasn't a bad series, just... out of place. Anyway, what made it more and more appealing was the cartoonish effect. Not just that, but its even kind of real. We have to remember that this is a game of electric fantasy, so the exagerrated faces the fighters make when they take a powerful hit or fall is classic. It fits so well. That's why the graphics work so well. The cartoonish characters blend in flawlessly with the obscure, updates locales. Just as realistically cartoonish as the characters themselves, just as brightly colored in some places and orgasmically dreary in others... enough said. I like how the environments move with the characters too. In the boat stage there will be splashes of water as the characters move, and in the "'Train in Old Country' as I like to put it" stage the onlookers watch with genuine interest. All I can say about that is fantastic.

You may, I repeat, MAY be turned off to the opening song, however. Personally, being the eclectic bastard that I am, I find it rather good. No, more than tolerable and a little less than good. Maybe I just have a thing for J-Pop. Every fighter has their own battle music (I suggest you pick up the CD or listen to the tracks, you might hear something familiar). Remember the tracks from Street Fighter 2? Do you remember Ryu's classic theme or Chun-Li's infamous tune? The game music is a revamp, an upgrade, much like the entire game. Think of some of the songs as 20 year old covers from good artists.

You know what else is good about the sound quality? Every hit sounds authetic. We will never be able to see a man attack another with an uppercut surrounded in fire, or a low altitude horizontal drill like manuever of a man surrounded by weird purple power, but when you hear the crackle of the fire you get a sense of realism. It's comforting, if gut wrenching at some times.

BUT, my biggest beef with the audio is the voices. I have yet to listen to the Japanese voices, but what I have noticed is that the English voices suck. No, let me take that back. They don't suck but they are ill placed. The voices themselves are well enough but the dialogue itself is awful. Come on, Capcom, I know Ryu is an anti-social guy but, "The answer lies... in the heart of the fight!" is just corny. That's why I love Blanka; he don't say shit. He growls. You can't mess up a growl.

The voices are further intensified by the anime cutscenes that precede and proceed the arcade mode. They are bad. This is coming from a big fan of anime. They're drawn decently at best, not too bad but not too good, and the voices make it kind of unbearable. Not just that, but they don't do much to make the story much easier to understand. Oh, let's move on to the story. Shadowloo is dead, and so is Bison. Everything is all well and good until this new guy, Seth, decides to revive the Shadowloo and makes up the tournament to get (*SPOILER*) from the combatants. Everyone has their motives for battling, but who ties in directly to the main boss? Several of them. Hell, everyone but Ryu and Ken I guess, but that's because Ryu is thickheaded (all he wanna do is fight) and because Ken only wants to fight against Ryu, even though he doesn't want to leave his wife because (*ANOTHER SPOILER*). But, who plays a fighting game for the story?

Capcom's strong suit has never been a good story (you think the Marvel crossovers were just for show?) but again, you play Street Fighter for all the sexy violence. So let's keep talking about the sexy violence. Like I stated earlier, it doesn't take long to get into the game. Pick up the controller, XBOX or Playstation, and you can get right to work. Both controllers work just fine, easier for the thumbsticks on the XBOX for me, directional pad on the Playstation. What you really need to do, for the full experience at least, is buy an arcade stick. I won't endorse one over the other because I personally like the controller better, yes, I said it! Not to say I'm not a beast on the arcade stick mind you, heh...

And I know what you're thinking. DiZ, you chocolate Twinkee, you haven't said too many bad things about the game! No, I haven't, but that's how it goes sometimes. Some games are just great. You want criticisms? How about the online? We, that's to say the gamers that make up the almighty Street Fighter Nation, love to duel. There are people all over the world with the only common thread linking them all together being a fighting spirit. So with this in mind I'm disappointed with the online.

I see it more frequently with the XBOX version, but balance is necessary. If you have a perfect connection and your opponent's isn't so clean then the match won't look quite as fluid as it should. Perfect connections on both ends, oh boy, get ready to hand out an ass kicking or get one. Trash talking, invisible victory dances and ethnic slurs are sure to hit your ears.

In terms of downsides that's pretty much the worst that Street Fighter has to offer this time around. The music can get kind of annoying but I'm only really referring to the title theme. The voices can be annoying as hell too, but switch it to Japanese. Makes the anime about three fold better too, I find that pretty enlightening. Er... well, if I can think of any more I'll get to them.

I wanna go through the roster now. Needless to say, I like it. Love it? Maybe. There's a total of 25 fighters from all around the world, ready to kick some serious ass and take names. You have the original eight from the Street Fighter 2 times: Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li, E. Honda, Dhalsim, Guile, Zangief and Blanka, along with the boss characters from World Championship Edition: Balrog, Vega, Sagat and M. Bison. Throw in a few from the Alpha times: Gen, Rose, Dan, Sakura; and a few from the Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo days: Cammy, Fei Long, Akuma, and last but now least the new fighters: Abel, amnesiac MMA brawler; Rufus, fat but fast blubber; El Fuerte, Rey Mysterio with a frying pan; and my favorite, Crimson Viper, sultry, well endowed secret organization agent. But wait, there's more! Not only is there the boss, Seth, but there's the infamous Gouken. Who is Gouken? He's Ryu and Ken's teacher, and he's a beast. Definition of a beast: shoots fireballs with one damn hand! Out of the newbies my favorite is probably Abel (PHYSICALLY Viper is my favorite. Her chest is bursting out of the shirt, give a guy a break). He could be like Ryu actually, so simple in his character and just fighting so he can understand just why he fights. You know, that's not a bad idea...

I don't have much bad to say about this brilliant game. I tip my hat to Capcom for creating a worthy new edition to the Street Fighter library. They both successfully captured the spirit of the early games and made the new experience so beautiful it could stand alone. This isn't a criticism so much as a personal desire, but I wish it weren't a midquel. Ah well. Capcom, if you're reading this, hit me up! I can write the stories for you, I'm a writer by nature! Let me tell Ryu's story!

This has been a DiZ Review. Since you've been looking for the score for so long, here it is. DiZ, the arrogant douchebag, gives Street Fighter IV the score of:

Five stars, my highest rating. If Street Fighter 5 is anything like this then Capcom may yet get back on my good side. Peace.

First Impressions: Resident Evil 5

2009-02-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or is Chris Redfield's in-game partner, Sheva Alomar (pictured) a sexy woman? I'd never think of leaving Chun-Li but damn... the gamer in me is growing more and more... "vibrant" the more he sees Sheva Alomar. Alas, I digress.

I'm really not a big fan of the Resident Evil franchise, well, it's more accurate to say that I haven't really been an active player of the Resident Evil games. I started with the second one and I was scared shitless, so I stopped for a while. I thought about playing Resident Evil 3, and while I never did I still kept a general curiosity.

When Resident Evil 4 came out the first thing I said was, "Oh boy, next gen! Let me get up on this!" That's when I noticed that it was strictly for Gamecube (at first at least) and I sighed. So I dropped my shoulders in defeat and went to playing Street Fighter. Capcom hadn't let me down. When Resident Evil 4 came out for the Playstation 2 I was still in tears, because to this day my Playstation 2 has yet to work at the same capacity it did when I first obtained it. Saying all that, this leads to Resident Evil 5, the first Resident Evil I'm considering buying because I can, and it comes out for the Xbox 360.

I'm not exactly sure when the demo came out, but I downloaded it the day before yesterday and played it. That's why this is a first impression: it's initial observations. The first thing I always notice is the graphical quality. Even back on the Playstation I saw a bit of an advanced graphical quality. Oddly enough I saw that along a steady stream of multidisc Playstation games, but this one was... different.

Back to the demo at hand though, Resident Evil looks great. It's not too hard, I'm guessing, to make realistic looking humans at this point. Chris and Sheva (and I'm putting emphasis on Sheva) look fantastic, from the realistically shining hair on her head to her perverted fantasy inducing figure... wow, excuse me for that. The enviornments have a familiar feeling to them, as if you're actually there. Even as the wind blows there's a feeling of familiarity, scary familiarity. I don't want to feel too familiar in a place where people are being publicly executed, because I'm either a zombie or a future victim, more than likely accused of engaging in sexual intercourse with a woman like Sh... damn, she is a great character.

Let's move away from the graphics, wait, after this. One beef I had was with the death thing. Not Chris or, *sniff* Sheva, but the zombies. There was this wavy looking thing, it was... weird... but hey, it's Capcom. Capcom has a habit of delivering good graphics so let's go to the sound. Remember what I said about the wind? Here's what I want you to do, right now. Turn off all sounds in you can. Any sound you can personally manipulate, turn it off. Now just listen. Listen to the silence. That's the feeling I had at the beginning of the demo. Let me ask, do you know what immersion is? It's what you call a feeling of being somewhere you are not due to an outside source. Stephen King does it with his tales. Martin Scorsese does it with his films. Capcom has, at least as I've seen so far, done it with this game. I'll elaborate a bit further when I'm done with sound.

After I left the quiet, eerie safety of the wind blowing I jumped into the action of the game. I fired the pistol. I felt a bit bad. I fired the shotgun. I felt a bit worse. I ran out of ammo and took out the knife. I felt bad with every hit. Why? I identify to sounds, and it sounded like I was actually murdering zombies. Pistol bullets, shotgun shells, I could hear every bullet with the greatest of ease and I actually felt like I was murdering someone with the shots. Needless to say it got easier with time, but still, it was kind of harsh. There's such a thing as doing your job too well (Denzel Washington, Training Day) and to the extent I've seen that's the case with the sound quality of Resident Evil 5. The zombie's, or at least zombie-like people, had this scary quality to them. They sounded possessed AND knowledgeable. Nothing, outside of a woman searching for her baby's father with a gun in hand (don't ask), is scarier than a knowledgeable zombie that moans and wants to eat you. That's why it's best to shoot them dead. Blow their heads apart, and pratically acheive ultimate pleasure as you hear the head explode open. The sound of a bullet hitting zombie flesh and making a head split apart is music to your ears. Compare it to pre-808s and Heartbreak Kanye West.

Now, back to immersion. If you start playing this game and think for even a moment that you are alongside Chris and my future wife Sheva, or that you ARE Chris, then you are either crazy, close to insanity, or immersed. Immersion has already been defined above, but here's how I knew this game was immersive. I felt Sheva's pain when she had to watch the execution. I sensed the fear both gunners had when the leader saw them. The graphics had me thinking that the guy was real (shit, the way things are he's probably based off of a real person) and the sounds made me think I was next in line to be decapitated in a tactfully unnamed African village. Seriously, I swear there was some kind of blade on my neck when the axe wielding juggernaut (bitch) murdered that defiant man. Again, that's immersion.

We go now into the most essential thing: gameplay. The view has changed but the controls feel the same. I didn't like the way you controlled characters in Resident Evil 2 because I felt it was overcomplicated for something so simple. I like the traditional sandbox third person gameplay as opposed to the Resident Evil kind. I've been informed that Resident Evil 5 and Resident evil 4 share that gameplay mechanic. I don't mind the point of view, I think the over-the-shoulder look is great, really keeps you on your toes (which you need to be doing in a game like this) but I can't say the same for the controls. I'm not giving anything the benefit of the doubt or anything but maybe I'm just not used to it. Walk with the left thumbstick, turn with the left thumbstick, aim with the right one, get into aim mode with a shoulder button, reload by holding aim and another button, throw a grenade by hitting two triggers, hold one button to get into run mode, it seems unnecessary, overly complex. It could be possible Saints Row 2 lust I've just gotten back into, but if I had the chance I'd test out that method of movement and gunplay and compare the two more effectively. I'm not calling it bad; I'm just saying it's unnecessary.

Now, on to the aesthetics. Racism. *Sigh* Look, being a black guy myself, I don't see the big deal. Chris is white, the villagers are black, he kills legions of them and who cares? One, it's fictional. I'll 98.4% sure that this isn't based on real life events. Besides, how accurate would it be if Chris and my Nubian goddess Sheva were in an African village shooting at a legion of white people? It wouldn't look too accurate. Case in point, let it die, it's hardly a big deal. The villagers, at least a great number of them, are zombified, and in a sense that means that they were already dead. Besides that it doesn't help that my Lady Brown is light skinned. It doesn't rectify the problem a lot of people will see so much as empower it, but I'm still not complaining because from what I've played so far it's a great game, far from perfect but just past that mark for great. Even so, this was just a demo. When the full version comes out, and if I buy it, I'll be sure to provide yet another blog post, only it'll be a great review.

DiZ First Impression's Score - Resident Evil 5 demo: 4 Stars

Reviewing the games, it's what I like to do

2009-02-06T17:35:00.001-08:00

Especially when I have a decent bit of cash on me. When the recession hit I had the theory that the game industry would be one of few that didn't really suffer too visibly. I'm not one to brag, but for the most part I'm right. The game industry didn't suffer because of recession to the degree that I think it should have (no disrespect) but because we, the consumers, have suffered because of it. Seriously, I'm a 19 year old college sophomore with a heavy love of video games (Chun-Li will forever by my first love) and a less accessible love for money. The point of that paragraph: I'm broke. Recently I came into a few hundred bucks, however, and I reserved Street Fighter 4, Collector's Edition. At this point I ask that you do NOT bring up my obsession for Street Fighter, because it scares me too.

I should have done this site a long time ago, but I have a hard time keeping up with what I need to do. At one point I succeeded, but now it's lost. Because of my deep love for video games I have become something of an unofficial reviewer, trying my damn hardest to follow in the footsteps of such greats as... er... well, I don't know. But I have something to prove.

So this is the first post of continuing posts. I'm using this one to establish some basic facts about me, DiZ, whose real name is Christopher Lamb.

1) My favorite video game franchise is undoubtedly Street Fighter. Grand Theft Auto comes in second, with Final Fantasy taking third, creeping up to GTA more and more. We'll see how that plays out when XIII hits the US.

2) Enjoyment and quality do NOT always go hand in hand in my opinion. You can enjoy a sub par game and you can detest a great game. I wish I could think of an example right now but I'm afraid that I cannot.

3) I am never biased about a game when I am reviewing, but I retain my opinions of certain companies, franchises, and whatnot before hand. Example: I hate EA Sports. I hate Uwe Boll. Most importantly I hate Uwe Boll, because he's making a mockery of the profession I want to go into.

4) If you like what you see then drop a comment or two. I love traffic, it gives me a method of measuring my internet worth.

And that's it! Welcome to Electronic Underworld, where things are reviewed, mostly games. Peace!